I know I know...

I haven't posted my final write up from Tollgate but I'm sitting here with Paige and Mara working on our storyboard project and I stumbled upon (no, not procrastination stumble upon...) a series of videos on YouTube that deserves a complete and TOTAL shout out.... We will even be using on in our project just to prove how with it this message is. It is Unicef's project on "Cartoons for Child Rights" it is definitely worth sitting down and taking a minute to recognize that not only are they dead on on of those topics but we as humans need to give EVERY single child those rights....The other thing that I totally loved is that each video is created by a different country so it isn't just Europe or America or China standing up for these rights it is a GLOBAL effort to help make a difference. Global awareness... definitely a right for everyone too

Here's the right to education just to get you started...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5R4jAxKY-I&feature=relmfu

The Jig is up...

Thanks to one of my funniest and most all over everywhere kids... I know what my surprise is (aka THANK GOD ... I mean tomorrow is going to be hard enough...The last thing I need is for there to be an unknown surprise factor stuck in there)... Now having been gifted with wonderful intuition from my mother I tend to catch on to when something is going on... Sometimes I try to deny it and sometimes I try to figure out whats going on... In terms of my surprise I had decided that I would just... wait and see what it is.. I mean really how harmless can 24 10 year olds and 1 34 year old be... Anyways so this morning after we picked up the kids from music I had to run a quick errand... When I got back into the classroom my ears were peaked (so to speak) but I couldn't figure out why... So we were beginning to set expectations for our greeting when "MR. ALVERSON... What do we do with the letters for Ms. Detmer?"...Class collective AHHHHHHH MARCUSSSSS "Marcus," Scott replied, "I don't know what you're talking about..." Clearly trying to get Marcus to pick up on what was going on... However, being the endearing child that he is... he totally didn't get it. AT ALL. It was pretty cute... But needless to say all the other kids were very very upset and just could NOT handle the fact that he had spoiled my surprise. For the rest of the day he was thoroughly hassled by his crew members for ruining my surprise... He was very upset and even talked to Scott to say if he thought I knew or not. To blanket the concerns of the class I had to make a statement somewhere along the lines of "I can't wait for my surprise tomorrow..."

One down.... 24 to go

... I'll get to that in a minute but first I'd like to address how I know something is up... When I walked into the classroom today I took inventory as I normally do on Friday mornings... On the chart paper I saw that there was a bunch of adjectives like funny, organized, wonderful... well you get the idea... anyways they were written in Scott's handwriting and at the bottom it said "likes pink..."... Hmm... smiling I thought, oh God, they're planning something. Now I HATE surprises so knowing that Scott and the kids are up to something scares me...


Later today was part one of the hardest part of this job. I had to say good bye to one of my kids. One of my girls is going to Mexico for her sister's quinceanera and won't be at school next week. While I expected to be really sad about this and have potential for crying... It didn't. I didn't cry... not even a little bit. While I know that I will miss these kids and Scott so much, I think I'm just ready... When I hugged this girl at the end of the day I was really realizing that this first chapter of my experience is over.... Knowing that I have to turn this leaf over is definitely hard but I'm so looking forward to things like a 6 minute commute.. and challenging myself with a mixed age classroom... And truly, I know that this is just the beginning of another awesome adventure... or maybe its just a continuation of the adventure...

Gasp...

I think it happened. I mean... it really happened... I became ready for break and ready to be in my new environment. I became ready for break when I realized that tomorrow may be the weekend but on Monday, I still have to go to work... It's totally silly and mildly childish but, I really need a break. I need time to catch up on sleep, to really spend some quality time thinking about and working on myself. The other reason I'm ready for break is that everyone else is going on break tomorrow.... Totally silly I know, but I'm definitely feeling "jealous-of-everyone-else's-long-break-itis"... WIth switching districts I lose 5 days of break. 5 days. 5 whole days... That feels like a lot to me, a whole heck of a lot... I know I know, life isn't fair but man oh man... is it wednesday yet?? While I totally hate the idea of leaving the kids... I'm looking forward to the challenges that my new school will pose... They are totally different and I will once again be forced to find myself in a new element...

Today...

So today had some moments of greatness and some moments of not so greatness.... But over all, I'm laying here in bed feeling like it was a pretty successful last wednesday with the kids. My lesson was awesome and it really proved to me how important it is to know your kids and know their limits. I pushed my kids today and they responded with enthusiasm and excitement... Can't ask for anything better than that now can we? I really was proud of how far my lessons have come from the beginning of the year and I think (...maybe?) I am beginning to grasp the important balance between performing for the kids on the fly and having a solid plan behind me to structure the conversation. Balancing being able to change lessons depending how the kids react to keeping with what the lesson says exactly is one of the hardest parts of being a teacher I think, one I hope to adjust everyday for every lesson. Other awesome part of the day? Having awesome thought provoking conversations with my fellow interns... All in unexpected ways but all making me realize how much this group of people impact my life and will continue to for a while... Despite our ideas of different experiences and thinking we know certain things about schools or other classrooms... Until we experience either teaching for real or anything nearly as difficult... The truth of it is.... now this is a big secret so don't share it ok?.... well, teachers (read: EVERYONE) don't know everything... we don't know everything about every subject ( i learned a new word today: lattice), we don't know everything about everyone (I learned that one of my co-interns figured out a cool pattern I never would have seen if not for her eyes and her knowledge) and we don't know everything about ANYTHING.... The great part about living in this day and age is that we are discovering new things all the time... I am preparing my kids for jobs that DO NOT EVEN EXIST YET.... The best part about all of this?.... It's ok. It's ok to not know everything. It's ok to be surprised once in a while and most importantly, it's ok to be who you are. So own what you know and recognize the gaps in your own knowledge... I promise... It's OK

Tuesday...

So today was weird in that a) it was our double science day and b) despite the kids doing exactly what we asked of them... it was just weird... They were sluggish and not interested or disengaged.... It was just like the last few tuesdays have been... weird... They did everything we asked of them, but they just seemed to lose their sparkle... I'm wondering how you can fight that within the kids or keep their level of excitement up... Is it as simple as making them jump up and shake the tired out of their bodies? Or is it that their natural rhythms just all flat lined at the same time...

The children are too sweet.....

(monday btw)

And gave me presents! I felt so loved by them! I got earrings, a necklace, an ornament, a bracelet and a box I was told I can't open until christmas because then it "wouldn't be a christmas present". It's hard not to feel so loved when you receive 3 presents from kids! After getting 2 different sets of cookies on friday... I'm realizing now how hard it really will be to leave my kids.... This beginning of the day really made me realize how little things can really set the tone of your day. I loved the way this day went... Except when I realized that I had 8 days left the kids.... so basically I'm not acknowledging it.

It's fridayyyy fridayyy

When I got to school today I realized that I would have to tell my kids about my "new" kids... Needless to say I did what all good teachers do and distract them! I taught them a new game that I learned at Steele and they're now all OBSESSED! We even taught Lindsay and Emily's class! I mean it definitely wasn't the easiest thing but it worked and I was able to once again post pone "THE talk".... aka explain to my kids that despite their understandings... I really am leaving...

It's a new dawn... It's a new day...

I met my new kids! On Thursday I took the morning off from Tollgate to head over to Steele to meet my new mentor and new kids. Despite my nerves I really enjoyed the day...especially the 8 minute commute! It was definitely different than my 20-25 minute commute out to Aurora. I vaguely remember Steele from when I interviewed with Stanley but this time around I tried to totally commit everything to memory for when I arrive in January. I'm looking forward to next semester for a few reasons, the first being the fact that my classroom has 3 whole windows... WINDOWS... how awesomely novel! We are a north facing classroom so while we won't get direct sunlight for a while, it will still be wonderfully nice to have natural light. In fact, I'm pretty sure we didn't even have the lights on, we just let the natural light illuminate our classroom. The next reason I'm really excited is that I will be in a mixed aged classroom so 3rd, 4th AND 5th graders! I'm looking forward to this so that I will really be able to implement a lot of what we learn at seminar. I definitely felt overwhelmed at moments but I'm sure I will integrate nicely into my new community.

Some days are jumbled like puzzles….

And we just have to sort through them until you find the right ones. Once the day got going it was pretty clear it would be a jumbled day. Emily and I were running the little group again out in the mobile for interims. Thankfully (MERCI DIEU) it was our last exams but they definitely saved the hardest for last. Emily and I had to read literally every… single…. instruction and every single answer to the kids… It was brutal beyond brutal… Especially since all the kids were wanting the pace to be different either slower or faster. When the torture was finally over we settled back into our regular pace and schedule of the days. The most interesting part of the day came towards the end when we were working on our poetry section. While I was debriefing with some of the kids (they were given the opportunity to choose their poems) I ran into a wall. Not physically but metaphorically. We have a kid in our class who has severe ADHD and it gets into the giggles or rather the “I’m not going to listen to the teacher and make everyone laughs”. I’ve tried everything… It really frustrates me because I feel like he totally discounts me as a person and an authority figure… So Scott and I decided we would address it with him. So the way it went down was him, Scott and me in the hallway.. Scott then says something along the lines of “ I’ve noticed Ms. Detmer getting a little frustrated with you sometimes and she and I have talked about it and I’d like you to hear her feelings.” Here’s what happened in my brain…: HOLY MOTHER… AHHH I HATE CONFRONTATION….can I smile? Is that ok? BE AN ADULT EMILY BE AN ADULT…. Doug, I have been struggling because I feel as though you don’t listen to me when I talk. Yeah… that sounds good go with that… It really hurts my feelings because I think you’re a wonderful kid and I know we can have fun together but sometimes we need to be serious. (Bold is Scott) Doug, do you feel like you treat Ms. Detmer differently than you treat me? Doug nods his head. WHOA… DID HE JUST ADMIT THAT? MAN… I hope that we can work to make this better in my last few days with you guys. I really enjoy when we work together and I hope you do too. He nods again. Do you think maybe you should say something to Ms. Detmer? Ms. Detmer, I’m sorry. WHOA… WAIT, DID HE JUST SAY THAT? HOLY MACKERAL THIS KID IS SO WITH IT! AHHHH I’M SMILING AGAIN…man I hope that’s ok…. I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE HOW EASY THIS WAS!!!!




Anyways, the next few things are just a tiny selection of the artwork I received today from my kids…. Knowing that I’m going to meet my new mentor and kids tomorrow has really hit these guys hard. A lot of what I’m struggling with now is my feeling of abandonment. I feel as though I am just one more person in their lives who is letting them down… I HATE feeling that way. They do not deserve that at all and I hope and pray they don’t feel abandoned by me…. But I can’t help but wonder… Is this teaching? Is this part of the letting go at the end of the year? Do I have to get used to this feeling?

I'm going to be totally honest...

I have no idea what happened today... Despite being at school all day, and not feeling blank when I got home to actually write this, it took me a few minutes to remember what exactly occurred. First off, the kids went to specials. Then we did interims again... which felt shocking to me, I can't believe we were already at the point where we need to be assessing them again. Emily and I ran a small group in one of the mobiles which once we got it unlocked ;-) Granted it took for bloody EVER, it definitely felt like a step in the right direction for these kids. They just need a little bit more help which happens sometimes in test taking! From there it was weather journal time and onto lunch! After lunch we did a little independent reading, a little poetry and a little math. I guess that because today was as close to "normal" as possible that's why it seemed to blur. Nothing crazy never really happened which I am grateful for of course....

fridayyyy

now for the record I am writing this retrospectively and may not remember every detail so please forgive me...

Now first I'm going to read your mind: Choose any number... Write it down... I predict it will be 7 ok?

We spent the beginning part of the morning working with our k-garten buddies on presenting for their expedition. It was fun watching the kids teach the little ones how to project their voices, read from their prompts and most importantly, support them! From their we went to science and then back to the classroom for our weather journals/diaries. It was once again hilarious to watch the kids frolic and play (the eskimo way) as they tried to "discover" the weather. From there amazingly it was lunch time...
The kids then got tested for hearing before we transitioned into finish their BBKs (building background knowledge) for the expedition. This BBK included watching videos of eXtreme WEATHER and while I think it ran a little long considering how off track the kids seemed to get, they certainly enjoyed it. The videos were of literally all kinds of extreme weather and I most enjoyed learning about FIRE tornados... which are INSANE and everyone should learn about them!

Now for the mind reading... So I told you to write down a number, and that I predict it will be 7. Are you ready?
Ok take you number... Add 9
Now double your new answer.
Subtract 4.
Now divide by 2.
Subtract your ORIGINAL answer.....


you got 7 didn't you?


HA MATH IS COOOOLLLLL

snow snow snow

but no snow dayyyy... sadly. I totally would have called one, but no one asked me. The snow today was hilarious for me for a few reasons. The first being that this was my first time driving in Colorado snow since buying my car 3 years ago! Mac (the car) and I have mainly spent our winters and "snow" season down South where snow is what we Coloradans call dust. I was pleasantly surprised to find that despite most cars having four wheel drive my commute still took much longer than I anticipated. When I eventually got to school the kids were clearly excited about the prospect of outdoor recess and the chance to play in the snow. Being that it was thursday the kids went to PE then went to science. When we got them back we had to go out and collect our data for our weather journals/diaries for our expedition. The kids LOVED getting to be outside and "observe" the snow... AKA we caught snowflakes on our tongues and checked out the individual flakes... If this is a science expedition, I'm pumped about it!

Trials and Tribulations...

So I recently admitted to myself that this whole moving home thing hasn't been the easiest. Especially in the last few months... While the summer led me to believe that my new life back here in Denver would hold the promise of awesome friendships, romance, and fun... Most haven't quite worked out the way I imagined. Most of my friends from the summer moved away or got busy, the romance... well... it just didn't work out ok? And fun is now defined as cleaning my shower. I've had to redefine my wants and needs and it hasn't been easy. For the first time in a long time, I started to question my decision. Having first left home when I was 15 I came to view this place as my strong hold, my safe zone, my comfort. I so looked forward to moving back here for those reasons and so many more. Moving home to me was so exciting.. I was so pumped... Now, well it's hard. I haven't made many new friends despite my efforts and that's not the best feeling in the world. I've tried putting myself out there in so many different ways, inviting people over, trying to go out and meet people and.... at my recent low point.... Joining meetup.com which sends you emails of local groups meeting up.... I haven't gone to any yet, but it's something isn't it? And ok, sure on thursdays after seminar I could go to happy hour but to be honest I'm so fried I come home, sit on my couch and often make mac n cheese for dinner. I also, have not developed the comfort level of driving more than a mile after having a beer. It makes me nervous and I'd rather come home and have a beer knowing I don't have to put anyone at risk then to test the limits of life. But that's a whole different discussion.

When I was talking to one of my best friends who (for the record LO LO SCHAF) left me too though I have pardoned her for it ;-) she told me some pretty shocking news. This first year out of college SUCKS. Being the older of my birthday twin Lauren (being my age plus one year) graduated May 2010. She knows first hand how hard this year is. The thing she reminded is that I went from having all my close friends near by to suddenly being spread out all over everywhere. Even though I have lived away from my friends for years I always went back... now I'd have to get on a plane just to hug them. This year isn't supposed to be easy and no matter where I am it would be hard. Not to mention on top of that I'm in a high level stress job/internship... Sometimes it's just about putting one foot in front of the other and working for the end goal. So I guess, for right now, the end goal is back to what it used to be with my dad: One new friend a month. Simple right? Well Tomorrow is December 1st, so in 30 days let's see how far I get... Who knows, maybe a year from now I'll have 12 or 100 new friends...

Surprises are actually awesome

So on my way to work this morning my iPod was on a roll.... literally song after song... I walked into work on a musical cloud of joy... Despite the long, often annoying commute to Tollgate I must say I have totally enjoyed my musical prelude and postlude to work. In fact last week, our tech teacher caught me absolutely JAMMIN' to Midd Kidd (see Youtube vid at bottom) and it made me realize how important it is just find those little moments when you can enjoy pure and utter happiness...No matter how dumb or silly it might look to someone else. Anyways... post awesomeness this morning we had a weird day.... On science two a days I think I literally spent 3 hours with the kids... We get them in the morning then take them off to art, from art they went to science.... We then picked them up and spent some time working on fractions... We then took them off to lunch... From lunch it was back to science... By the time we picked them up it was 1 o'clock... By then it was time for my lesson... I had planned on teaching the kids a preposition lesson and spicing it up with a song! YAY THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX! Anyways... First off, I got nervous while I was singing the song!? Like changing color, red face, nervous... I mean I'M SORRY... Didn't I used to do this all the time? Wasn't I good at this? Am I losing my touch? I LITERALLY STARTED SWEATING... Oy vey... LUCKILY the kids totally jumped on board and loved the song!!! I WAS SURPRISED in the best way possible (ps, i hate surprises MORE than anything)... but honestly, this was amazing.. I even had kids volunteer (yes, i said volunteer, as in "ms. detmer can I try...) TO SING SOLOS.... Blew me out of the water... I was so pumped!!! Now despite my lesson not totally going the way I had planned, I was so pleasantly shocked that I'm ok with it. Something to change, something to revise... something to try differently... I LOVED IT.... There is truly nothing better then when your children surprise and amaze you when you are least expecting it... GASP... is that what parenthood is????


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZzCHcMKyDc

UP on the rooftop.....

Is where the children play! Today we started our new expedition and the BEST part is that we got to go UP ON THE ROOOFFFFFFFF!!!!! It was hands down one of the coolest things I've ever done. And they LOVED it. They had so many awesome observations and questions. I was so proud of them!! I really enjoyed looking down through our skylights and actually getting to understand how they open and closed! I had no idea that they were dome shaped and that our shades actually become flat! Our new expedition seems like it will really get them excited about their environments and will also help them to think and act like a scientist. I'm hoping that at some point I'll get to use the things I learned in my developmentally appropriate science book! While I think they're a little confused about how what their learning in science class eventually it will all work out... Even if it doesn't happen while I'm no longer at... ANDDDD we're not finishing that sentence!

OH how the mighty have fallen....

I arrived at work this morning full of excitement knowing how well yesterday went. It was this sense of hope and pride and all happy feelings. And somehow in the first 2 hours of school that got shut completely down. I mean, shit hit the fan quickly and by the time the clock hit 2:30... I was ready for a break. I don't really want to go into details because at this point I have rehashed it and re-debriefed it in my head 100 times and really what I can (eventually take away from it) is that there are days like this. Sometimes there will be days when you get knocked down time after time after time but like any good teacher you must get back up. What I'm realizing that I will need to survive no matter what gets thrown at me... My ability to keep fighting will be my strongest tool in my shed. It won't be easy. Today definitely wasn't easy and I have no idea how on earth I would ever handle that alone but I will have to. Who knows what it will be like when I'm suddenly alone in a classroom but only time will tell.

Unexpected pride.... And other Sub adventures

On my way to work this morning my wonderful iPod shuffled to the song "Wide Open Spaces" I absolutely loved hearing it again. Silly but it has always been one of those songs that makes me smile, reminds me that taking risks is a joy and a blessing in life. When I arrived at school, I was absolutely bubbling with excitement and anticipation. It was almost like an extra bounce in my step... Often for me that bounce comes from music.... Anyways, I was pumped for this morning for many reasons. The first being that I was excited to see how the kids would react to all of the people and questions. The second being, I knew they'd be amazing and when it was over I would feel bursting with pride. The kids were simply adorable in their outfits and nervous little faces. I loved watching them share their knowledge with all of the people. When Gina, Sue and Joanne showed up I was even more excited!! They were so kind to come and hear our kids read their poems and explain their timelines. It was so great... I loved how proud of the kids I was, and the feeling of happiness it left me with. The rest of the day seemed like a breeze despite the prison guard style sub I had after lunch. This sub felt it necessary to excessively sssssh my kids with a minor angry tone but for the most part she took the sideline so that was nice.

Karma... and it's place in education and in life....

Yes, I know, hard to believe that I'm about to write about how education fits into education but believe it or not, it totally does. We as educators are not only setting the example for our students but we are constantly interacting with other adults for many things. As a child I was always taught to treat others the way I wanted to be treated. Growing older I recognized just how important that was to life. Being nice is the best way to be remembered because it draws people back to you... It draws people in. Treating people unkindly or rudely causes you to be remembered in a negative way. Even on a day when you're tired or annoyed it is important to try to be nice.

In education we as teachers are put into grade teams, committees, and other groupings. We have to treat each other with respect and kindness not only for human decency but also because it makes us desirable. Others will want to work with us more, and therefore sing our praises. When you treat others in poor ways it makes them not want to work with you, and inevitably will isolate ourselves from them.

As a side note, this is not about Scott. These are just some thoughts I've had stemming from some all over my life interactions.

While not a surface value I have found more and more that respect has a place in education. Treating people with kindness will bring us more wonderful things and treating others with rudeness will bring negative things into our lives and our classrooms. I may be an intern but I am also a human being, a person and more importantly a person with feelings. I have spent my life trying to be nice and treat others with kindness.I know I'm not perfect at it, but I do try. Sure, I'm loud at times and crazy and have a vibrant personality but that does not give anyone the right to treat me as anything less than human. Intern does not mean slave, or bitch or workhorse. The workplace is somewhere everyone has the right to be an equal. The last year of my life I've spent a lot of the time learning how not to interact, or coach, or whatever with people. As hard as it is, I have to put those lessons in my basket so as to avoid them in the future. Just like my feelings with regret sometimes you have to learn from the hard life lessons so that you can grow and be better than it. But to be totally frank, I'm really sick of it. I'm sick of learning the hard lessons, I'm sick of feeling like I have to defend who I am. Does life ever get any easier?

Thursdays are weird

So now that the kids have science we get the kids at 7:55 when they come in and then get them back at at 9:50... its weird... I feel like we've barely got the day going when i leave. It's hard to leave the kids since I barely feel like I've spent the day with them... Granted today was stress central with our expedition celebration coming up. We spent all morning working on the kids' timelines and when I left my eyes were sore and I was starting to think my ability to edit was going downhill. You can only look at the same thing so many times... definite blurrrrr

Philosophy, Theory and Me in the Middle....

So I've been trying to think about this philosophy paper and where exactly I fit into all of this world. A lot of what I'm struggling with is this idea of how I'm supposed to decide yes, that is me or no that isn't me when I can barely decide what I'm going to eat for dinner daily. I struggle to put myself in a box in general. Having always strived to live independently of labels I just don't feel comfortable saying, yes I will be a realist teacher. Until I feel completely comfortable in a a classroom I doubt I will be able to completely decide where I fall into all of these different categories. Pretty much I feel like I will be picking and choosing from everyone and going with it. I mean really, I'm 23, who am I to declare anything about myself as fact?

Having been a successful product of boarding school and out of state college kid, I know that some of the ingredients I will reach for from my "resource" pantry to implement in my classroom "kitchen" are idealist philosophies since those curriculums look at the bigger ideas of culture and education. I also will reach for the existentialist philosophies since it allows the actual individual creep through into the classroom. I value all of my students as individuals and recognize that they have something to bring to the table. Remembering to bring those outside values and cultures into the curriculum will better me. I also think the pragmatist ideas will fit into the recipe as well since organized problem solving allows students to work through materials at a deeper level than just the surface. Being able to pull back and look at an idea at a large picture and a small detail are two wonderful, important ideas.

So at least that's a start... I guess....?

ps. happy intern day... (?)

One month and 5 days...

No I haven't been counting. Scott told me. This morning when the kids were at art Scott checked his email and received his (our) invite to the "office" or school christmas party. As he read the date he also added that that date was my last day at school. Whoa... That was unexpected. That's the end... practically within reach... that's insane... I'm so not ready to process it so I will live in my delusional land.

I've been trying to get ahead on my philosophy of education paper since it is due right after thanksgiving and I don't want to spend this break working on a paper like the last one. What i've found though is that I'm struggling to write it. Not the actual conventions of the paper but rather how on earth am I supposed to decide what my philosophy or theory on education is. I mean really, I'm 23 and trying to figure out what my philosophy on life is... even my theory on life (for the record though, I never plan to figure those ones out). I don't think I will figure out my philosophy or theory until I'm actually alone in a classroom sitting on the floor in a circle with my first class. As I have found with many of my life experiences I can think one thing, then actually experience whatever it is and realize all my planning will lead to something wonderful I never could have foreseen. Or sometimes it will lead to something that I will recognize I need to change. I'm sure I can declare a theory or philosophy for the sake of paper writing but the truth of the matter is, until I get to set the desks up the way I want and put bright happy colors up because it's my classroom. Who am I to say how I will react year to year to my different students. Who am I to say that every single day I'll come in with a great attitude... Those are unpredictables and things I don't feel comfortable declaring without true solo experience....

Sometimes you just need a Tutu….And a touch of Pride

So today in honor of our race yesterday the Girls On The Run team, Ms. Reynolds (PE teacher) Ms. Bell (5th grade para) and myself all wore our GOTR tutus to school! First of all this totally makes up for not getting to dress up for Halloween so I’m happy. Second of all it’s absolutely hilarious to see 20 or so 5th grade girls all in purple shirts and purple, black, white and sparkle tutus. It just automatically lifts your spirit… and if it doesn’t then I’m super sorry. I have loved getting to know these girls and am full of pride knowing how well they did… You’d think they were my own children how much I have bragged about them in the last 24 hours. I can’t wait until the spring when they have their next run and I will get to be there, granted on the sidelines, cheering them on again. They all have grown and accomplished so much… It truly makes me feel blessed to be in their lives.
The great part of GOTR is that it works to make you feel good about yourself. Finishing the race is the goal but from start to finish is your own personal journey. Doesn’t matter if you walk, run, skip, jump or dance (obviously I did all ☺) all that matters is that you finish the race and feel proud of yourself. Which EVERY single one of my girls did in under an hour. Despite spending most of the race in the back of the group with one of our slower girls (as my fockers know, I truly believe you are only as strong as your weakest link and that no one should be left behind) and having known what it is like to be left behind by a group, I wanted to change this girl’s experience… Even if it meant slowing my own time, this isn’t my last race by any means. When she finished she thanked me in such a sincere wonderful way that it literally took my breath away. Children surprise you all the time when you least expect it, just let them… If you have a time-slowing machine… hook me up please!

holy crap its the middle of november

Right now the thing I'm struggling to believe that I'm just a little over a month away from being done at Tollgate. I'm so confused how on earth the time has flown by this fast. Seems strange and unbelievable to me... My feelings are totally mixed on the whole thing... While I desperately want to see as many different schools and experiences as I can... I also have come to feel at home in the Tollgate community. I know pretty much everyone, I have my little group of friends and I feel like my kids really like me. The idea of going to another school, with new kids who are used to a different intern... well, honestly... it scares me. I'm happy and content at Tollgate.... While I'm sure I can re-integrate myself into a group, I'm just sad to do so. Leaving Scott makes me really sad...He's been such a great mentor, I truly couldn't have asked for anyone better.... He has set the bar high for the next mentor and I'm just afraid of what would happen if the next one doesn't live up to his high standards.... I mean really... if it's not baroque, why fix it?

(joke... laugh)

Sub deuce for deuce

Today I had super sub-day....And by that I mean... The kids came, they did morning math for 10 minutes. They left for PE, they went from PE to science. When they came back from science it was 9:45... We did crew until 10:15/10:20 and then Emily's mentor Lindsay came and taught an equivalent fractions lesson. This was awesome for a couple of reasons... The first being that I got to see the kids make leaps and bounds on fraction understanding and the second being I have now seen all of the 5th grade team teach at some point in time. I've been able to see the different styles of their teaching and get to know them all. It was so much to see Lindsay at work. After that... well, since it was thursday... it was time to go... Once again I left hoping and praying that the kids would be ok with a sub...

Blurt Alert....En espanol por favor....

So today I was over in another classroom helping write a two-voice poem/ modeling a two-voice poem and I discovered a really fun little tool… the BLURT ALERT. You call a “blurt alert” when the group is working on something quietly or when the teacher is modeling something and someone raises their hand without asking for permission. The blurt alert can happen to anyone at any point in time. I loved the idea of being able to make interruption not such a big deal. It was a silly little fun thing… I really dug it… The day has really worn on since I got here at 7:20 and we have conferences until 7… I know Tommy, I know, you have 12 hour days all the time… well guess what, I don’t. So sorry..... Though I must say, I'm getting the hang of this whole translating "literacy" and "he's good in class" thing... tri-lingual life BRING IT ON... Scott even almost sent me to translate in another classroom. Who would have known that I would end up not only spending my life educating others but doing it in multiple languages? Certainly not me, but it certainly makes all the crazy worth while.... truly.


ps, a great part of the day, aside from translating conferences and actually feeling confident in my spanish..... was being asked what I wanted for christmas by one of my students... literally made my heart sing with joy :-)

Regrets and mistakes...

So as most of you know I live a lot of my life through song and music. Lately, I've been really into Adele and more specifically "someone like you"... Some of the lyrics that have been resonating and haunting me... sitting on my shoulders all day... Leading me around while walking through the halls. I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited-- But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.-- I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded hat for me it isn't over....Don't forget me, I beg-- I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"...We were born and raised-- In a summer haze--Bound by the surprise of our glory days...But the lines that just seem to sit on my heart are, Nothing compares--No worries or cares--Regrets and mistakes--They are memories made.--Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?.... It literally right now feels like the lyrics are healing me. It's magic, truly. It is exactly why kids need to learn about music. Being able to express yourself in a way that isn't just "i feel sad" opens up the entire world to endless possibilities.

The other thing I totally love about this is the line "regrets and mistakes they are memories made". As many or most, I hope, of you know I don't actually believe in regret. I won't bother wasting my time on something I cannot change. All I can do is learn from it, remember not to make the same mistake twice and move forward. It truly is just a memory made in my mind. How can you not love an idea like that? This follows up with my post last night that not all teachers are who you expect them to be, but rather people in unexpected places. Adele has taught me that I'm not alone in my feelings on regret and that sometimes it lasts in love and sometimes it hurts instead... We have all survived something.... It's about picking yourself up and carrying on...

teachers of all shapes and sizes....

No i don't mean the fatties and the skinnies but rather the different way people end being teachers. Sure, I could tell you about my day with the kids and about how I have lice in my class and have now begun the excruciating process of cleaning my life but that's no fun. So instead I'll tell you about the awesome cooking class I took today with Mariana. I found that while we were in the class I was analyzing his teaching style instead of well... paying attention. First thing, expectations not clear. a) the class is 3.5 hours long... when was that EVER stated... oh wait it wasn't. b) we didn't eat until 8:45... so i was obviously STARVING (lay off me... I’m starving) so strike one i guess you could say, though I know now for next week. Second, his instructions were mildly jumbled and slightly demeaning. Yes, I did take a cooking class in France, yes I lived with a chef for 4 months but that does not mean I know how to cook salmon or cook T-bone steak. I'm 23 dude, cut me some slack here. And as it turned out, I wasn't as incompetent as he expected so no worries. Anyways, as the class continued on, I noted things such as his need control the actual food cooking. His GRR (gradual release of responsibility) wasn't a strength. He was good about letting us feel apart of the cooking by prepping the food then assisting in the cooking. However, we all cooked only ¼ of the meal not the entire thing. While I was ok with that for things like the salad dressing since I’ve been doing that since I was maybe, 10, there were things like cooking the steak I would have liked to understand more. To his credit he did have some sweet tips like how to tell if meat is done by using your hand and touching the meat itself. Oh, and the food was to die for I just wish it had been a bit more hands on. Mariana and I aren’t as “basic” as this “basic” skills class but we did learn lots of awesome tips and the recipes will certainly be handy. The other cool thing I got out of this was the realization that if I need a break perhaps from “regular” teaching, I can take one of my outside skills and mush it up with teaching. Ok, so cooking would be out since I’m not amazing at that or anything but I’m sure there’s another class out there just DYING to have my take charge…. Teachers aren’t just in the classroom; they can be anywhere doing anything. Many people don’t even recognize when they are teaching. Take a minute and think… Is there something in your life that you do because someone taught you to do it? Was it a teacher or was it just someone you met? Did you realize that they were teaching you?

And I was right….

Ok that’s just a little shout out to LoLo Schaf but it’s also the truth. I was right. The sub, well she sucked… SUCKED. (sorry mom) Her note to Scott and I was… how do I put this lightly? Oh right... A LIE. It said that the children were a joy, worked hard and listened to her. What Scott and I learned later was that, they in fact were not. They were AWFUL. They were leaving the room without permission, slapping each other, making farting noises, talking about the sub behind her back, and many, many more things (read on to find out….) Needless to say, I wasn’t surprised but I still was disappointed. Despite their work not being as bad as I expected I was just annoyed that we seemed to have dropped back to our beginning of the school year actions. Only 6 students of 24 were NOT mentioned in the letters we had the kids write explaining what happened. 6! 3/4 of the class completely took the day off. The most interesting of all was that our new girl; let’s say “Lea” definitely will be one to watch. As ring leader of the “leave the room when we want” she did not make as many friends as she may have expected to. The lesson I am taking from all of this is the same as yesterday… Never get sick... or if I do get sick find a sub that doesn’t lie about the kids just to get a job.

Now question of the week: In one of the letters a child wrote “at the end of the day we started corn dogging each other”… What does that mean?!?!?!?!?!

Sub This….

So today I had a sub…. Well, I suppose I need start before then. Our child studies were due today so I had a pile of stress on my plate. Wanting to do as well on that paper as I did, I was aware of this day as soon as the clock struck 12:00am. Arriving at work knowing that a) Scott wouldn’t be there and b) I still needed to organize my paper felt like a lot to deal with. When I arrived at school… no sub. No need to panic… I will survive. I went about my pre-day plans as planned. I changed the dates, the lunch options, printed out the sub plan from Scott and sat down at my desk just organizing. Two different teachers came in looking for Scott and when I alerted them to my mentor-less, sub-less situation they wished me luck and headed on their way. Trying to contain my freak out, I went to get the kids. I had them do morning math, did attendance and just talk about their snow day. Then I sent them off to P.E. Still sub-less. One of the other 5th grade team members came into the room and asked if my sub was here yet. I replied they were not and she offered to check on the status of the sub for me. Well apparently the first sub forgot. So a back-up sub was on their way. Well eventually she showed up. In a snoopy shirt, snoopy jacket and snoopy pin, detailed by electric blue eyeliner and pink eye shadow. I literally was on the verge of saying get out of my classroom and never come back. She also came in carrying 5 bags… BAGS OF CRAP. I mean really, I come to work everyday with one bag. I can barely imagine why on earth a person needs 5 bags for one day of work. Her opening line was also, “wait I thought they needed a sub.” I smiled and replied, “yes we do.” I then explained my status in the classroom, from there all she wanted to talk about was whether or not I received financial aid through my program and how it compared to the program her daughter was doing with under privileged kids, but that her daughter really wanted to go back to working with kids who had autism. Needless to say, I was feeling, well unsupported by her. I went to get the kids and we settled into our regular routine. I set the kids up to independently work and left to go help one of the other teachers. When I came back… well, It was confusion. Needless to say when I left for seminar I was nervous about the day. I noted to myself, I shall never be sick or miss a day of work again for the rest of my life… realistic goal right?

ATDASD

Or: All Teachers Dream About Snow Days......

ANDDDDDDDDDD when you get one, it is absolutely heaven. For right now, this is my miracle. That miracle I was looking for because our child study is due tomorrow and this little (or big) snow storm will give me a chance to tie up all the loose ends and make sure that it is perfect.... And this day off will give me a chance to finally catch up on all my little errands that seem to just sit waiting! YAY SNOW DAY

balance... or not

I'm going to be super honest... right now, the paper consumes my life.... like this paper is eating my soul. It is so hard to maintain a good balance between school and school and keeping myself... well alive. Being a hard worker, I try to give my own work as much of my time as I can, however that isn't exactly easy considering that I also have to spend time at school and for example tomorrow we have conferences so I'll be at work for 12 hours... not exactly ideal for having a paper due on thursday. I suppose I had gotten too used to my comfortable library habits at sewanee to realize how hard it would be to try to work in new study habits while also worrying about food and sleep and laundry and bills. I'm not drowning per se but rather adjusting to new patterns. I'm already tired from working with the kids but knowing I have to go home and up my productive level, is difficult. On top of that I somehow have to find a way to feed myself... which lately has been microwavable meals since they don't take long and are a perfect portion size. I know that I can't pull an all nighter like I used to mainly because I have to be on with the kids and it wouldn't be fair to them for me to come to school not having slept..... hmmmmmmmm decisions decisions....

Back in the grind…

So today I headed back into the grind of regular life. It was actually kind of nice to come back and be a part of school again. Aside from a little virus blip on Scott’s computer it was actually a pretty nice day too. The kids were relatively sane… but then again we were also missing three so that could have been another compounding factor as to why today seemed so calm. Today what I tried to be more mindful of was something that came out of my last observation and that is to be more transparent in my thinking. Deciding I would be more mindful of it, led me to try something new…And the crazy thing is, I think it might actually have worked. During independent reading time four boys self selected to be sitting on the couch; seeing that I said, “ I’m going to share my thoughts with you about your seating arrangement. It doesn’t seem to be the best idea and I would maybe try to come up with another one.” Then I resumed working while (obviously) still watching them. Low and behold, IT WORKED. One of the boys left the couch and sat on the floor… So feeling good, I tried it with a group of girls who were sitting in a line against the wall all near each other. “Girls, I’m going to tell you that I don’t think that is our best idea for independent reading. I would maybe think of a different one” Slightly different wording but same idea… ANDDDDD….. it didn’t quite work as well. They all stayed sitting next to each other but aside from a few giggles seemed to actually be reading. The kids are now over in Emily’s room watching a movie so I doubt I will get another chance to try this new way of teaching today but I will continue to try to think about it and implement it in the coming days….

The worst part of growing up...

Might actually be growing up. As evident by my last couple of posts this week off has lead me to be very introspective and reflective on my own life.... I'm a BP convert can you tell? The thing I'm struggling with right now is the fact that no one ever tells you how hard growing up actually is. No one every says "oh making grown up decisions is so easy" or "being a grown up is so natural".... mainly because it would be straight up lying. Being a grown up is hard, with bills and rent and work, I can't help but wonder does it ever get easier? We head back to school tomorrow and I'm actually feeling nervous. It feels like so long ago that we were at school and in the working rhythm. Somehow in the last week and 3 days I've lost my rhythm too. I can't help but feel like I've forgotten how to be the grown up I was. However tiny that grown up-ness was, it seems to have diminished. I'm wondering if I start clapping like Peter Pan if my Tinkerbell light will start to glow again. My lunch is made for tomorrow but my lunchbox is at my parents house: fail 1. My coffee pot is on and the timer is set for tomorrow morning but my coffee mug is at my parents house: fail two. Homework isn't graded for the kids: fail three.... Needless to say I'm not sure I'm ready to go back to work. Should be an interesting week I suppose.... Check in tomorrow to see how I survive.....But on the other hand, my paper is coming along swimmingly and I'm feeling pretty ok with where I am considering it's due on thursday... Growing up is an everyday experience I suppose and I'm surviving....

Expectations

With this nice break that I've been enjoying this week, I've been thinking a lot about expectations. They play a part in all aspects of our lives no matter what. The only difference is now I'm realizing how important it is to set the expectations at the very beginning. With our students it is important to set the expectations as early as you can so that they know how they should be responding. From the first day of class to every different lesson our kids should be aware of the expectations. I know that when I am actually in charge of my own classroom it will be so difficult to actually implement it but I'm learning more and more from the awesome people of the stanley TPP that expectations are what it is allllllllll about...


ps. yay fall break

Day before the storm...

So today is the last day before fall break and it honestly felt that way for sure. The kids were all so in their own little worlds and anxious. It definitely didn’t help that it was pajama day for spirit week either… It was just a transitional day and the kids could feel it. We started the day off heading down to our kindergarten buddies room to make “thank you” cards for all of the people who help us out in the school. It was honestly like a craft-glitter bomb went off in that room at about 8:20am. The kindergarteners didn’t really understand what they were doing and the 5th graders were learning about classroom management. When we started actually giving the cards to the people they were made for, it was really sweet. The kids were so proud of their work and loved the positive attention they received. From there we transitioned into expedition in the fainted attempt to finish our letters. It honestly was SO painful. Having not really drilled into our kids the importance of the writing process they really struggled with being forced into using it. So basically I learned (thanks in part to seminar yesterday too) it is essential to start the school year emphasizing the revision/editing stage so that when the expectation is to use the conventions of writing in the correct way the kids know what to do. It was so hard having to go over the importance of using periods in the correct way or capitalizing the first word in a sentence. Or Scott’s biggest pet peeve of indenting at the beginning of the letter. And now, reflecting on the whole day, I guess it was kind of unfair of us to be so annoyed (granted the kids also were so unmotivated and unwilling to work hard) with them since they didn’t know the expectations. Last lesson of the first quarter is to set expectations early so that everyone is on the same page. Just seems easiest. YAY FALL BREAKKKKKKKK

Check back in a week when I resume real life… until then, sleeping in, reading and catching up on all my favorite TVs shows….oh and writing a few papers will be stuck in there I suppose ☺

Seminar

So we're here in seminar and we're supposed to be conferring with ourselves about the writing we did earlier. Our writing was based off of a short story "Shaving". The idea is to write about an act you have done your whole life. But really, how on earth am I old enough to decide that there is one thing that I've done my whole life... seriously. I'm 23 years old; how is that old enough to have a life pattern? Well it's not... Except that one thing... Singing. It's the thing I do no matter how I'm feeling, no matter what is going on, no matter how lost I feel it brings me back. Which is exactly where I am, I'm about to jump off the deep again by heading off to Philly which scares the living bejesus out of me... and with the loss of Muzz, I'm worried about Mema, and my own future. Alzheimer's is a real future for my family and I'm beginning to realize that even with my 23 years, that research is on my side as long as I can get going quickly. So when the feelings are this I come back to one song. One song that just makes everything go away, the one song that makes my emotions still for just 30 seconds. Damn the Dixie Chicks for breaking up because this song is the shit and I hate not having more to grow off of. It just fills me up with happiness and brings me back to ground zero. Back to home base, back to neutral. Writing about singing just made me need to go outside and let it out. Being stuck in this room is like being a bull before a rodeo. All I need to do is run out that door and let it out, the bubbling song that I literally don't feel control over.

I was I was smarter,
I wish I was stronger
I wish I loved Jesus,
The way my wife does.
I wish it had been easier,
instead of any longer.
I wish I could have stood where you would have been proud
That won't happen now,
That won't happen now.
There's a whole lot of singing that's never gonna be heard,
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word
Somehow.
Think I broke the wings off that little song bird,
Take her for a ride to the top of the world
right now.
Top of the world.

I don't have to answer,
Any of these questions.
Don't have no God to,
Teach me no lessons.
I come home in the evening,
Sit in my chair
One night they called me for supper
But I never got up
I stayed right there,
in my chair.
There's a whole lot of singing that's never gonna be heard,
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word
Somehow.
Think I broke the wings off that little song bird,
Take her for a ride to the top of the world
right now.


I wished I'd known you.
Wished I'd shown you.
All of the things I, was on the inside.
I pretend to be sleeping,
When you come in in the morning
To whisper good bye,
go to work in the rain
I don't know why,
Don't know why.
There's a whole lot of singing that's never gonna be heard,
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word
Somehow.
Think I broke the wings off that little song bird,
Take her for a ride to the top of the world
right now.
Top of the world.

To the top of the world,

I heart our expedition!

So today I really just got into our expedition lesson.... Despite the mild to annoying disruptions from the unfocused kids, most of the class was able to completely jump into the expedition writing and creating. In terms of Bloom's taxonomy my kids would have been at the top since they were using their background knowledge to create a story/ character and write a letter to someone. That sounds super disorganized but basically they created a character who would have lived during the pre-revolutionary time period and would have been involved in one of the major political events (i.e. Boston Tea Party, Boston Massacre etc etc). It was awesome to see them coming up with names and back stories and really looking at the political event. Granted we are still struggling with the concept of if you are a member of parliament you are NEITHER a patriot nor a loyalist you are simply a British parliament member who does what Parliament does. A patriot or a loyalist had to be a COLONIST above anything else. Also, if you are a group of people living in the colonies are you a colonist? or a group of colonists? tricky tricky tricky....Adding to that, what does the word whom mean and how I can interpret the question "to whom is your character writing the letter?"..... But despite all of these little things I have to say this was one of the best lessons I got to teach. I created the model and worked through the writing process with my kids (and will continue to...) and it was SO much fun. Mostly because this is my (grape) jam. I LOVE creating things like this, getting to delve straight into historical time periods and forget the here and now... I mean, hello, HOW many books/movies do I own about the Elizabethan time period? yeah I thought so...Stay tuned as my draft continues and I'll be sure to pull some awesome quotes from the kids.... So the quiz is... can you figure out my character with just the beginning of the letter??


My dearest sons,
I can only hope that you were not a part of that ridiculous attack on trade ships. Learning of this wretched attack not only worried your poor mother but also made me regret allowing you to move to such a volatile place. I need you to understand the danger you are in. Return home. These reactions to our thoughtful laws are simply irresponsible and uncalled for. Do you not understand that the government is acting with the best interest of the colonists?

Back in the swing of things....

So this morning rolled around indicating that the field trip was really over. That thing we had been planning and looking forward to was over. I must say I was a little sad just because it had been our thing for so long. But this week I have another goal to reach... The weekend and fall break! All of those people who complain about how much time teachers get off should spend some time in a classroom because then they will understand exactly why. We fell comfortably back into our schedule and routine with little to no bumps. Really the only bump of the day was being told that I couldn't watch my child for my child study in music. But again, this is life and so I will just have to react and write my paper in a different way. OH WELL.

I've been thinking lately about teachers and their philosophies and ideologies. Can a teacher ever have a fixed one of those? Is that being a good teacher or is that closer to being Cameron Diaz in "Bad Teacher?" Shouldn't we always be changing with education to be the best that we can be? Isn't it our responsibility as educators and leaders for our children to be as up to date on life and the world? Just a thought I had.....

A few photos!!

Field Trip Heaven

So last week we went on a 3 day overnight field trip to Buena Vista at the 100 Elk Ranch. The road to that beautiful camp was a bit crazy at first with trying to get all the kids onto the bus and all of their stuff onto the bus as well. We made the 3 (and change) hour drive with only one stop which amazed me. We were riding 2 regular school buses without bathrooms (never thought I'd say I miss our field hockey buses but man, it made me miss them) so our one potty break was unbelievable to me. The funniest part was that Emily, my co-5th grade intern had to teach some of the girls how to squat in the woods to go... potty. This, while funny imagining it, also surprised me (like many of the things my kids do). I honestly can't say when I "learned" to squat in the woods but it is something I definitely knew before 5th grade. It is just another thing that made me grateful for my upbringing. My parents did a wonderful job exposing me to as many things as they good so that when I grew up (still waiting to of course) I could have many memories to fall back on. When we arrived at the camp we quickly moved into our cabins (Em and I were together for that and our "day groups") and had lunch out on the lawn. Sitting in the sun surrounded by the kids and my co-teachers, I closed my eyes and said a quick prayer. I was just so happy to be there and share this amazing experience with my kids that I wanted it to be perfect. I love the mountains, and I feel at home there, something about being away from the city just makes my soul feel better. Knowing my kids could maybe form the same kind of relationship just.... well, it made me feel happy and kind of proud. We headed off to the high ropes course after lunch and literally launched the kids into the trees. Having done a high ropes course before (and... well not necessarily enjoyed it) I was amazed at how fearless my kids were. They all took such amazing risks and didn't let their inexperience keep them grounded. The other awesome thing was how well they supported each other. It solidified my belief in the concept of "crew". Crew is something that EL learning is based on and it's kind of like a more advanced homeroom. We play initiatives that bring the group together and create a trusting community within the classroom walls. Crew translates outside the classroom as was demonstrated at this activity. Many of my kids struggled with the "leap of faith" aka climb a tree stand on a tiny platform and just jump into the air.... yeah, sounds like a blast right? Well needless to say my kids were so brave and capable, I was just proud. For the ones who struggled they had a big group of their friends to fall back on. We had a great large "family" style dinner with all of the staff mixed with the kids. The thing I absolutely loved about this trip was that I got to know so many different kids that I didn't know before. I feel so much more integrated into the kids lives, I can't wait to get to know them even more. After dinner we split into two groups and our group headed down to the other lodge to play "Gaga". Now I was hoping it was some game focused around the Lady herself however I was woefully wrong and thankfully so. "Gaga" is this awesome game with a volleyball, an inclosed rink, and rules like reverse soccer. The kids loved it, we, the staff, loved it and it was an awesome 2 hours. We then headed off to bed and... well... the bed was too small for me. Knowing I'm tall never made me think I wouldn't fit into a bed. I mean there are plenty of people who are taller than me, how on earth did they go to this camp? I was honestly in a bed made for a tiny person like a 5th grader not a 23 year old. So it was a longgggg night for big old me. The next day I woke up so excited for everything we would do that. After breakfast we headed off on a hike up the ridge to see what we could find! What we found (among other things) a horse graveyard. The kids literally lost their minds with collecting bones and touching bones and touching the still semi-fresh-ish leg.... We then started to "quietly" chase a deer through the woods to see what it would do. The funniest part was when the deer pooped and we went to check it out. Obviously the kids got all into the body humor.... It was so calming to just be walking around the hills and breathing the fresh air. I was happy and at peace... This separation from school and work and crazy life, made me feel so much less stressed. I really wished I hadn't left. It was so great up there. Later Thursday afternoon was kind of discombobulated to say the least. One of the kids got sick so Emily and I had to split the time watching her and being with our group. This was my least favorite part just because I didn't want to be inside and miss the fun the kids were having. But thus is the life of an intern. Anyways, after yet another yummy dinner our group was treated to a fun campfire. It was full of song and dance allowing the kids to shake it all out and have fun. I obviously loved it since camp was such a highlight of my childhood. Going to bed that night was much harder for me knowing how poorly I had slept the night before and also knowing we had to get up earlier on friday. When the morning bell rang Friday I knew we had a bit of a struggle in front of us. Task 1: Get the girls to pack ALL of their stuff. Task 2: Get the girls to put all of their stuff outside and later to the bus. Task 3: Clean the cabin. Task 4: Clean the bathroom so the "chrome" shines... Task 5: all of the above BEFORE 7:15 am... YIKES but somehow we did it all. Em and I were super impressed with the way the girls just took to the tasks and didn't complain. After breakfast and making our sack lunches we headed down to the rock gym for our final rotation. We climbed the walls and then did an initiative that made the kids work together and collaborate for a common goal. We then rushed to catch the buses back home and barely made it to school in time.... When the dust from the 3 days finally settled I realized that my time at tollgate is half over. Or will be at the end of this week. I ignored this thought and slept wonderfully in a bed of the right size!

Life is short...

*Disclaimer, I know I've been totally neglecting the blog but I promise I will get back on the bandwagon... After all we have a 3 day overnight field trip this week you'll want to hear all about it!*

Recently my family lost someone special. My great-aunt in the words of her wonderful sister "went up". With Muzz passing I realized how important it is to create special bonds and relationships with people. That includes teachers and students. It isn't just about how you see the world but sometimes it's about how the world sees you. I have always been a supporter of not making decisions because of other people but in the overall scheme of life you want people to remember the good things. Muzz was an absolutely amazing person. She was a great "other" grandmother and I will always cherish my memories of her. Being sisters with Mema, my grandmother, I got to see a how close relationships function with strength and caring. Even into their later years with their mental struggles they continued to talk all the time and see each other as often as possible. I love that about them. Sure, sometimes it's frustrating but their connection is amazing. I think maybe to a lesser degree teachers and students are the same. We as teachers should be motivating our kids so that everyday they are dying to get into the classroom and learn. Life is all about who we can touch with our own light and who touches us with theirs.

Being the emotional, caring person that I am, I worry about my grandmother now much more than I did before. Having this connection with her soulmate of some kinds broken, I cannot even begin to imagine how different her life will be. My cousin Diana is currently living with her and is experiencing first hand how hard this loss is. Especially since poor Mema relives the loss over and over again. Diana is the perfect example of a strong person, a leader,and a wonder woman. She is holding someone else's life together. I hope that when I am a teacher I can be all of those same characteristics and keep my students motivated.

I know that I'm pushing the limits of out there but with this loss I can't help feeling like we all need to be a little nicer to each other because you never really know when the end comes. So person in my apartment building who is angry about parking. I once again apologize and if it really means that much to you I will be happy to relinquish it just to keep the peace. Sometimes its the little things and if parking is a little thing for you then so be it.

Finally, I want to share one of my all time favorite poems by Rumi with you. The reason I find it to be important is because we all sometimes need to step back and realize that life is a big picture. The tiny moments make up the big portrait and maybe it's just remembering to look at those tiny moments, loving them and putting them back into the big picture.

"Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. Where the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, Language, even the phrase "each other" doesn't make any sense."

I just can't wait to be King! (Queen)

Ok sure I stole that from the Lion King but still, it’s true. Our seminar today about Responsive Classrooms really made me realize how excited I am to get into my own classroom making my own decisions and be able to make it my own. Not that I don’t love Scott’s class because I do, but it’s not my own. Sure I got to put “girlie” colors on the walls and we “co-parent” on a lot of things but it’s not my own. That is what I discovered is the hardest part about this program. Sure, the breakdowns are hard and it’s a year of survival but really what it comes down to is solidifying yourself so that when you get into a classroom you have an idea. Only they give you an awesome idea in October and you have to hope and wait until June when you might get a classroom of your own. It’s literally torture. Max said something the other day that made me think, June is just around the corner… At the time it was to make me feel better but it is kind of true. I’m sure that this year will go by quickly and soon I will be my own teacher. It will be so wonderful because by then I will have had many, many different wonderful seminars and I will hopefully be an awesome teacher… I can only hope I will be able to remember all of these things and be able to implement them in my own classroom! When I am a benevolent dictator (quote from class today :-) )

Our Mothers Would Be Proud… *Fall Switch Day!*

So today I switched classrooms for my fall switch date with Karolena who is Lane’s intern. Lane is… family. So I was super excited to get to see her work. Lane is not the first family member/Stanley intern I have gotten to watch and I’m sure she won’t be the last… well maybe. Anyways, it was so cool to get to see this side of her considering I haven’t ever really. I literally took 3 whole pages worth of notes today, not just about Lane but also about her classroom and her interactions with the kids. It honestly never felt like I was watching someone I had grown up with. It felt more like watching a new teacher and once again trying to glean as much information as I could. Not really knowing at this point what grade I want to teach and now having pretty solid experience in pre-school and 5th grade it was nice to see the in-between stage. Since I barely remember second grade (thanks concussions ;-) ) I thoroughly enjoyed seeing where these kids were in terms of developmental stages and in terms of life stages. Things I noticed that were different were often little simple things like cutting out pictures still being difficult or sitting still and listening for more than maybe 10 minutes seemed hard but for the most part the kids were totally adorable and sweet… Much like any of the kids I have worked with so far in my “career”. The funniest part I found was actually wondering how my kids were, and how Scott was. I felt what I imagine a parent feels for the first time a kid goes off to school. I noted different times and wondered if they were transitioning into math yet or still reading or when 8:55 rolled around I wondered what they did in music class and whether or not there was a show for Lena/Scott. It was really hard not to quickly run down the hall and check on them. I guess I’ll have to maybe get used to this feeling since I still have 2 more switch days and an entire second semester at a different school. Also that whole every year getting a new class thing too… I guess that is where the mixed age classrooms are so great, the kids and teachers get to spend 3 years together so they really feel like they are a part of each other’s lives. I think I really like that. I’m finding more and more that I am definitely oriented towards the BP style of classrooms while still maintaining the structure of a traditional classroom… Wonder if I’d ever be able to marry the two together….

Things I absolutely loved about in Lane’s classroom:
→ The schedule up on the wall for the whole day and read through by the class
→ Morning stations oriented around math
→ Lane’s freeze-count to 5-melt transition
→“Fixing” their brains to change subjects → they twist near their temples and click their tongues it is SO cute and gets them to recognize a change in learning.
→ CAFÉ or Comprehension, Accuracy, Fluency and Expand Vocabulary as a concept for reading/writing
→ Saying, “voice” if someone isn’t loud enough
→ Their expedition being a great idea for the kids and that age
They are learning about plants and are currently split into groups focused around roots, stems, flowers, leaves, seeds, and fruit. Their reading is focused on that, as is their writing.
→ ELD was fun… granted still total chaos for teachers with room switching and new name learning but they seemed to enjoy it. It was also tied into their expedition so it pushed/furthered their learning/understanding.
→ When it was turn and talk time they stood up if they didn’t have a partner and then found one. So much better than trying to figure out random groups of 3.
→ That the DLI book was called the “fix it” book… SOOOO much better than the actual (lame) title of Daily Literacy Instruction

As you can see, this day wasn’t about spending time with my cousin it was about learning. I took away so many different things, from classroom structure to transitions to little attention songs and so much more. I cannot thank Lane enough for letting me watch her; she is truly a gifted teacher… Which I’m learning is pretty damn common among Stanley interns. I’m so honored to be a part of such a cool group of people; it is like being a member of a football team that wins the Super Bowl, I’m just happy to be a part of this epic group. I hope one day I’ll be as cool as they are.

Everything comes to an end…

Today was kind of sad because it was one of our girls let’s call her Irene was moving away. She was such a sweet girl, I was definitely sad to see her go. Today was a little different than normal since we didn’t go see our buddies and instead we took our final interim test. I was so glad that those are over; I hated testing the kids with those. We headed out to recess and came back to work more on our summaries. This became exceptionally frustrating because we literally spent ALL of our academic time on Friday working on these stupid summaries for the kid’s pictures of the Boston massacre. We left for lunch still not finished and hoping that it would eventually get finished…. One day. At lunch we had so much fun and I really felt loved by the team. They were so nice about my birthday and I totally love them. We came back, worked for a few minutes then headed out to Crew Day. Crew day is like regular crew or homeroom and field day had a baby… We had so much fun and the kids loved it. It really let them let loose and just be kids. Sometimes I think we forget because we are pushing them so much and pushing them to be better kids. We went back into the room and just let them finish their last summaries, and have just a little bit of free time… Which is when the penis issue came in… yes I said penis. I noticed a few boys sitting on the couch and giggling pretty intensely. Having grown up with 2 older brothers I can pick up pretty quick when something body-humor related is going on…. Needless to say, I was right. Big foot was going pee… So Scott dealt with the boys and reminded them that despite using it to go to the bathroom, the little ones need to stay back at home. ;-) The day ended with us saying nice things about Irene and reminding the kids that they are always a part of our Crew.

Pain is temporary

Except when it’s not. Poor Scott today was dying of a toothache. Like dying of a toothache. I just felt so bad for him, knowing how hard it is to focus when you’re in extreme pain. I hated leaving him knowing how much pain he was in. But that’s how Thursdays go… I leave when I leave to go further my learning.

The one thing about today that was weird was that we ran into an issue over cheating versus using resources. Our kids were taking a vocab assessment and two of the words were up on the wall. I didn’t want them to use them because I would see it as cheating, which I don’t tolerate at all. Scott saw it as using their resources…. While I can understand his idea, it was very black and white for me. Just like my brother, there are some things that I just see one way or another. Yes or no. Right or Wrong. This one I saw as cheating or honesty. No matter how much I want to see it his way. I just can't. I don't like cheaters...

Talk back Smack Back

No I didn’t hit the kids but I did get talked back to… And it was annoying…I totally feel like I need to apologize to my parents for ever talking back… Anyways, my child for my child study was here today so I had to watch him. I went to art class with the kids and it was so much fun. It was nice to see them in a different light. They were definitely able to express themselves differently and wholly all at the same time. I know that sounds weird but I knew we had artists in our class I just had never seen them in this way before. I really got to understand their talents in a different way. We came back and got down to work on our expedition. The talk back smack down came along right before class when I announced who would be in homework club… One girl who we shall call “Penny” after I called her name immediately began to protest claiming she had “done” her homework and I said, “well, you didn’t quite finish it so we need to work to finish it” and she needless to say didn’t agree with me. I simply said everyone in the class knows, if you don’t finish it for when it’s due then you come in and finish it.” Nothing like a pre-teen verbal battle to get your day going. Anyways when lunch came around, I had literally just made my soup when all the kids came streaming in… 10 minutes, they ate their lunch in 10 minutes. So I had to run homework club AND eat lunch at the same time… utter chaos… Later when we had transitioned into math… Scott and I, well, we got the major giggles… Long story short, we’re little kids who get the giggles just like anyone else and the kids have pretty much realized we’re crazy… We can’t hide it from them anymore.. We’re CRAZY. And it’s fun. It’s nice to feel so comfortable in the work place. It makes me realize how important the work community is and if you don’t like your co-workers then it can be really hard to stay happy with your job….

Sometimes it just takes a little magic…

And sometimes it’s just being an awesome teacher! The kids headed off to music like most Mondays and we had a teeny tiny meeting… The cool part about the meeting was that the soldier who was here on Friday offered to let us be a part of his reenactment battles FOR FREE…It would be an awesome opportunity but it may be too hard for us to squeeze into the schedule. In crew the kids continue to share their red rocks’ stories and began to publish them. Scott and I decided the ones that had good craftsmanship and were fun would be put up around Red Rocks’ bowl. From there we transitioned into a Socratic seminar/ circle to discuss Ebenezer and it was cool to see the kids try to understand this ancient version of conversation. They worked well together and were able to all speak their minds. At lunch we, the 5th grade rebels, decided to go to Atlanta bread co… it was so nice… I truly love this crew. The 5th grade team is just so awesome… I am so into working with them…. The after lunch I ran a few reading groups and we transitioned into math. Math was cut short by our new district enforced ELD or English language development block. It was weird to switch kids and then teach basically a giant reading group but I guess it’s a new part of our routine…

Best part of the day: setting up Netflix for my TV… BALLER

Changes lead to Greatness

I've been thinking a lot about all of the changes that have happened in my life since May. This weird feeling of reflection comes from me finding my new years resolutions for this year in my room at my parent's house. I realized for the first time in my life I not only have stayed true to all of them, but I feel like they are all great stepping stones to my future. They were as follows:
1) stay in shape all year long
2) have a good end of college
3) not worry about the future, take everything one day at a time
4) not to be afraid to fail
5) to not let the little things bug me

And yes, some of them I have not been so good at lately (#4 & 5) But I'm realizing that my worrying and my fear of failure helps to motivate me to do better. My future is an uncontrollable force, sure I make choices that change the direction of it often but I have no idea what God has in store for me 5 years from now, 10 years from now... I can only hope I'm headed in the right direction. With my birthday quickly approaching, I'm finding that my reflections solidify my non-belief in regret and help me realize that no matter what happened in the past I am a better person today than I was yesterday. The last year of my life, has had its major ups and downs. From field hockey not being what I expected out of my senior season, to school being so hard I wanted to transfer with one semester left to moving out and living on my own, feeling a huge sense of independence once again. My ups and downs of 22 have been noticeable and significant for me in every way. But i wouldn't change one thing. My self perceived failures academically lead me to passing my senior thesis and comps with flying colors; something I never thought possible. My failed final season has made me realize how important it is to be a positive teacher and coach. To find the little positive things and praise them in my kids, no matter HOW much they bother me... One positive thing could make a difference whereas one negative thing could drag the whole train off the tracks. My personal relationships have been a struggle and have forced me to once again realize that I'm a totally unique person and that I'm not the easiest to be around. But it doesn't matter, I am who I am and I was reminded of a quote by Dr. Seuss that a close friend shared with me: "be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"... Is there anything more true? I'm awesome, get the memo and if you don't... well it's your loss. NOT mine.

Failure is a big deal for me, I constantly worry about failing... Failing my family, failing my friends, failing at my job, failing at being an adult... Especially this last year failure has lived on my shoulders. It comes from a fear that no matter how awesome I am, I am not enough. I hate feeling that because I raised in an amazing family where all my weird quirks were accepted as normal. My parents constantly remind me of how I used to sing to myself in front of the dishwasher and no one questioned it. It's not about being perfect because no one is, it's about being the best that I can be.... at all times. I constantly work to push that voice of failure out of my head because, I think I'm doing a pretty good job so far at being an adult. And sure, I go home a lot but I chose to live in the same city as my parents because family is important to me. If I could somehow move Connecticut closer to Colorado so I could see my brother, his wife and my nephew more I would in a heartbeat. Their support reminds me that there is no failure, only societies definitions of "not regular"or "not enough". Dad always told us life is not a race, but rather a journey and if you're ok with your journey then you're doing alright.

A lot of this reflection comes from me trying to "figure out" what kind of teacher I am. Part of the reason why I'm struggling with this "what kind of teacher I am" concept is because I don't see myself as a teacher.I only just graduated from college. I am a life learner. Much like my brother Tommy, I don't believe learning ever stops... And granted I'm not headed down the same route as him (check him out here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guGoMRkXYvs) but I love the idea that we never stop learning. There is no due date for personal knowledge. So how can I see myself as a teacher when I'm learning every second. Everyday is an opportunity for a new lesson.... Maybe that's my gift? Maybe that's the kind of teacher I am? I hope that everyday my kids learn at least one new thing... Is that a kind of teacher? Is it ok to not know everything? Yes, and I hope that makes me a better teacher....

I've decided that with my birthday in 5 days I will write some additions to my resolutions that will carry until my birthday next year... And they would be the following:
1) never stop learning
2) remind yourself that you are amazing even when you feel like curling up and crying, it's ok, cause you're still awesome
3) sing all the time because it makes you happy even when it's a song you can't remember all the lyrics to
4) never stop trying... when you give up, the sun doesn't shine and the world stops moving... Even failure can teach you a lesson, so try try try....

It was Scott-Free day

Not in a good way…Scott didn’t come to school today and even though I knew that in advance I felt weird about today…. It’s one of those days where you just can’t nail it, but something feels off…We started the day with a little reading… Mr. Manor read Hollis and it was weird to listen to the story. Sometimes Scott reads but it just was different with a sub. It was also weird for once being on the other side of a “sub” day. As a kid, this day meant time off, a break from the regular schoolwork or in some cases… more work than a regular day. If we were really lucky, it meant a day of movies. But here I was on the other side, having to be the consistency for these kids. I wouldn’t let them have a day off because I was still there. They would get the work done and they would do it well. As we were finishing up the Ebenezer lesson, I really got to see how excited they could get about learning. It was 5 guilty vs 18 innocent and they were ready to duke it out. Both sides could prove their reasoning and we were on the verge of a true court trial when suddenly… I realized, crap, it was lunchtime. Yes, I said that. I have never wanted to skip a meal before in my life but MAN did I not want to stop this lesson. They were so into the lesson and I was so into pushing them that it almost felt physically painful to stop them. I knew after lunch I wouldn’t really have to worry about Scott not being there since we had a special guest coming to talk to the kids. We had a revolutionary war “soldier” coming to talk to them. It was hilarious, they all were so excited to have their questions answered, to be shown time period artifacts and best of all… They got to hold a revolutionary musket. I mean does it get any better than that? Pretty sure it doesn’t. Really the only problem of the day came between 2pm and 2:30pm. I didn’t realize the soldier would finish with so much time before the end of school… So first I had each kid debrief and share what they learned from the soldier… and it was still only 2:20… 10 more minutes… I had NO idea how to fill the rest of the time, and it didn’t help that I had intern tasks like their Friday folders to fill with 3 different papers… I felt like a chicken with their head cut off because I was just trying to get them to stay focused… me to fill the folders and somehow maintain control…. Needless to say when I left it was just a weird end of the day… I went across the hall to check in on Emily, no not myself, my co-5th grade intern who also had a sub. Her mentor was sick so both of us were experiencing the same thing of having a sub for the first time. I really like having Em across the hall because I can see how she is doing and whether or not we are in the same place on life. The one thing I learned today is that my mentality of not skipping classes or responsibilities will continue on into my career because just like a newborn baby… Kids need consistency in their lives and as an adult they see every single day, they need less sub and more reg. So pretty much for the next ___ years I cannot get sick, miss work, have life responsibilities that will conflict with work… yeah, right… NOT

Thursdays are half (SHORT) days

So this morning the kids headed down to PE and Scott and I had SO MUCH FUN! I love Thursdays because we play with the kids during warm up for them and its great, it makes me giggle and understand why Scott is so loved by the kids… He can let loose and play with them on their level. I really enjoy Thursday mornings, I must say. When the kids came back we did Crew and they shared their stories about Red Rocks our new member. It was pretty hilarious for me to hear their stories ABOUT me and my adventure to bring Red Rocks to school. I was described as a “mysterious” lady, a giant, a scary thing and of course regular old blonde Ms. Detmer. I was proud because these stories really allowed their creative sides to show without the pressures of “being right”. Their story was whatever they wanted it to be. From there we transitioned into our expedition. We were launching into the story of Ebenezer MacIntosh and somehow right about then… it was 11:20 and they had to go to lunch and I had to go to seminar… Thursdays amaze me because the mornings feel SO short and the afternoons are SO long… But the best part of the day came after all of this was over. Mariana and I went to workout and it was awesome…. Minus the fact that I forgot my shoes… however I think our instructor was a BP teacher in another lifetime because she said if you can workout without your shoes, it works for me…

What works for you, works for us… BP for life

Uneventful is wonderful....

So today started out much like any other… The kids went away to class and Scott and I just sat planning lessons and generally getting the day ready. When they came back we did a fun little crew initiative to get their day going. We had them try to do the circle sit down initiative. We had them stand in a circle, turn and try to sit. It was fun to watch them minus my quick exit to fix my contact… (Yes I am still learning) We then transitioned into the expedition and let the kids try to figure out a lot of the meanings from the time period political cartoons. It was so interesting to watch them, considering how complex they can be. At recess Scott and I ran the second to last girls club. We played the game “the big wind blows” imagine musical chairs and a game that gets everyone to know things about each other. The debrief was awesome and it was so great to see them realize that they had many things in common. Instead of laughing at each other they began to laugh with each other, which is as close to a bonus that teachers can get. ☺ After lunch we did independent reading and finished getting all the kids into groups for expedition reading. We next transitioned into math… It amazes me when the day is over all the time… I seriously do not understand how fast the days go by…. It is already 10 days until my birthday, which is usually my 2 month in marker for the semester… HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!!?!?!?!!!!! All I can say is, October is going to be an awesome month and I can’t wait for it to arrive! After school I headed down to the gym for my first Girls on the Run practice. Girls on the run is an organization that helps get girls (sorry boys) to understand their self-worth and self-confidence. They don’t have to really run, but really they can do whatever they want as long they understand that they are wonderful and mean so much to the world. Please feel free to check out their website and donate in honor of the Tollgate Tigers!!

http://www.girlsontherun.org/default.html

Plenty of ways to make a Wrong RIGHT....

So today started out with a fun adventure to Petsmart at 7am… (yes they open at 7am) in order to purchase our new classroom member the fish… I wanted to name him Oscar but Scott and I agreed the children should name him…. So eventually his name became Red Rocks but he will always be Oscar to me. After crew was over… well, I realized adrenaline was pumping through my veins… Game time aka first official observation… Like any good pressure situation I was prepared to fumble the ball a few times but then fit comfortably into the 3rd quarter and ride until the end of the game. I started my lesson, feeling aware of Scott and Kathi watching me…. Knowing they were in my corner but knowing also that they would be grading me… However, just like a stroke off when I’m in the zone, I was on fire… well I thought I was. It felt good, and I didn’t feel like I was making many or rather any obvious mistakes. When the lesson was over Kathi and I left to go talk it over and not to toot my own horn or anything but I’d say job well done me! The afternoon blew by in a breeze of expedition and math… When the end of school came around I left feeling accomplished and happy….I’m learning that Scott’s way of being my mentor, this trial and error on my part is the best thing ever. I get to try as many different ways and styles of teaching as I want… Plenty of ways to make a wrong right… Song lyrics sure, but some truth is buried deep in it… Making mistakes are ok if eventually they lead you to the right answer. At the end of the day though I realized… I am good at this, I’m not crazy and I’m doing what I love… Nothing better right? WRONG…. Glee season premiere and chocolate AND a visit from a puppy (Thanks Kelly)…. Overall today was an A (advanced or SUPER AWESOME) Sometimes it just takes having a really good practice to make things clearer… Granted all I want to do now is suit up in some equipment sit next to Anna and have some shots thrown at us, but my life now consists of fielding questions instead of balls and scoring correct learning objectives instead of points but really… Practice makes perfect and I’m getting some awesome practice in….

I was mean today...

…. But not as mean as “John” was. Today started out like any other, the kids came in; we did a little morning math and read Hollis. The kids then went off to music and Scott and I talked about my lesson tomorrow (I have my first official observation tomorrow). When the kids were gone we were filled in on a little situation…. Our dear friend John has been, well, a problem child. He is the one I have been really struggling with because all of the other “bad” boys seem to have reformed and John… hasn’t. At. All. He’s been having some problems… SO today his issue was that he thought it would be fun to cuss at 1st graders… you know the tiny, just old enough to get school but still scared shitless of everything little kids… Ugh, is all I could think… Hasn’t this kid gotten it yet? He doesn’t have recess and yet he still finds a way to torture other children. So anyways when we transitioned into math about ¾ of the way through the lesson Scott went to go deal with this situation… With the big guns… AKA our principal who could put the fear of god into me so I would assume a 5th grader as well. So I was left to care for the children in our class…. Something I am totally comfortable with but MAN OH MAN were they not paying attention! Seriously I was better off talking to a brick wall… They were talking to each other, drawing… So I said ok, we’re done. Had them put everything away and sit at their desks for the last 5 minutes of the day. Just sit there. I went and sat my desk and pretended to write a note to Mr. Alverson… really I just wrote in my journal ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ…. But it was the idea that I was telling him and the fear that I was playing on. Ok manipulative I know, but I was willing to be a little mean if it meant that they would be better tomorrow… And really isn’t that what teaching is about? Hoping that tomorrow will be better… for the children, for me, for us as a nation and for us as a global community? Reaching I know, but truly, what else can we do but hope for a better day tomorrow….


OH WAIT… GLEE SEASON PREMIERES TOMORROW… so it will be a better day ☺