Seminar

So we're here in seminar and we're supposed to be conferring with ourselves about the writing we did earlier. Our writing was based off of a short story "Shaving". The idea is to write about an act you have done your whole life. But really, how on earth am I old enough to decide that there is one thing that I've done my whole life... seriously. I'm 23 years old; how is that old enough to have a life pattern? Well it's not... Except that one thing... Singing. It's the thing I do no matter how I'm feeling, no matter what is going on, no matter how lost I feel it brings me back. Which is exactly where I am, I'm about to jump off the deep again by heading off to Philly which scares the living bejesus out of me... and with the loss of Muzz, I'm worried about Mema, and my own future. Alzheimer's is a real future for my family and I'm beginning to realize that even with my 23 years, that research is on my side as long as I can get going quickly. So when the feelings are this I come back to one song. One song that just makes everything go away, the one song that makes my emotions still for just 30 seconds. Damn the Dixie Chicks for breaking up because this song is the shit and I hate not having more to grow off of. It just fills me up with happiness and brings me back to ground zero. Back to home base, back to neutral. Writing about singing just made me need to go outside and let it out. Being stuck in this room is like being a bull before a rodeo. All I need to do is run out that door and let it out, the bubbling song that I literally don't feel control over.

I was I was smarter,
I wish I was stronger
I wish I loved Jesus,
The way my wife does.
I wish it had been easier,
instead of any longer.
I wish I could have stood where you would have been proud
That won't happen now,
That won't happen now.
There's a whole lot of singing that's never gonna be heard,
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word
Somehow.
Think I broke the wings off that little song bird,
Take her for a ride to the top of the world
right now.
Top of the world.

I don't have to answer,
Any of these questions.
Don't have no God to,
Teach me no lessons.
I come home in the evening,
Sit in my chair
One night they called me for supper
But I never got up
I stayed right there,
in my chair.
There's a whole lot of singing that's never gonna be heard,
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word
Somehow.
Think I broke the wings off that little song bird,
Take her for a ride to the top of the world
right now.


I wished I'd known you.
Wished I'd shown you.
All of the things I, was on the inside.
I pretend to be sleeping,
When you come in in the morning
To whisper good bye,
go to work in the rain
I don't know why,
Don't know why.
There's a whole lot of singing that's never gonna be heard,
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word
Somehow.
Think I broke the wings off that little song bird,
Take her for a ride to the top of the world
right now.
Top of the world.

To the top of the world,