So I recently admitted to myself that this whole moving home thing hasn't been the easiest. Especially in the last few months... While the summer led me to believe that my new life back here in Denver would hold the promise of awesome friendships, romance, and fun... Most haven't quite worked out the way I imagined. Most of my friends from the summer moved away or got busy, the romance... well... it just didn't work out ok? And fun is now defined as cleaning my shower. I've had to redefine my wants and needs and it hasn't been easy. For the first time in a long time, I started to question my decision. Having first left home when I was 15 I came to view this place as my strong hold, my safe zone, my comfort. I so looked forward to moving back here for those reasons and so many more. Moving home to me was so exciting.. I was so pumped... Now, well it's hard. I haven't made many new friends despite my efforts and that's not the best feeling in the world. I've tried putting myself out there in so many different ways, inviting people over, trying to go out and meet people and.... at my recent low point.... Joining meetup.com which sends you emails of local groups meeting up.... I haven't gone to any yet, but it's something isn't it? And ok, sure on thursdays after seminar I could go to happy hour but to be honest I'm so fried I come home, sit on my couch and often make mac n cheese for dinner. I also, have not developed the comfort level of driving more than a mile after having a beer. It makes me nervous and I'd rather come home and have a beer knowing I don't have to put anyone at risk then to test the limits of life. But that's a whole different discussion.
When I was talking to one of my best friends who (for the record LO LO SCHAF) left me too though I have pardoned her for it ;-) she told me some pretty shocking news. This first year out of college SUCKS. Being the older of my birthday twin Lauren (being my age plus one year) graduated May 2010. She knows first hand how hard this year is. The thing she reminded is that I went from having all my close friends near by to suddenly being spread out all over everywhere. Even though I have lived away from my friends for years I always went back... now I'd have to get on a plane just to hug them. This year isn't supposed to be easy and no matter where I am it would be hard. Not to mention on top of that I'm in a high level stress job/internship... Sometimes it's just about putting one foot in front of the other and working for the end goal. So I guess, for right now, the end goal is back to what it used to be with my dad: One new friend a month. Simple right? Well Tomorrow is December 1st, so in 30 days let's see how far I get... Who knows, maybe a year from now I'll have 12 or 100 new friends...
No comments:
Post a Comment