While out trying to get a salad to go with the AWESOME pepper from my garden (read: thanks M and D for letting me plant that pepper plant ;-) ) I ran into a good family friend... While telling him about this last week he gave me some advice which I guess my mother had given him when his adorable daughter was born and that is "The highs are high and the lows are low"... It kind of struck a note with me because it is exactly where I am... a Low Low... I’m ok with it only because I know I can get out of this funk… I’ll get back with my head above water soon… This weekend I tried to do things I know that make me happy… Friday for the most part was uneventful minus our friends Jack and John who got into a “he said- he said” of who “made” the other steal a di from our math manipulatives… We’re still not totally sure what happened all we know is that Jack had a di in his backpack… Scott was great; he handled the whole situation with just enough grace and power that Jack really knew he had messed up…. Again. Scott made Jack call his mom and leave her a voicemail… Now, during all this, the feelings of disappointment were bubbling up inside me again which were suddenly jumped by giggles. Yup, I said giggles. The giggles came from whenever Scott asked Jack to respond to a question such as “Why did you do this” he would respond in a barely audible whisper… So his voicemail to his mother was also barely audible… Made being angry really hard and I’m pretty sure I bit a whole through my lip trying to keep my giggles in…. Needless to say it was just another layer on my mountain of disappointment.
What I’m learning is that I need to try to leave my disappointment at the door at the end of the day… I’m making rookie mistakes with taking home my feelings that the kids bring up in me. The best part of this program is that we get to be first year teachers without the real pressure… I’m learning that I will have to really work hard to leave my hard times at school… AT school. Home is my safe place. Now for those who know me… it’s totally easier said than done but I know what my goal is and I know that I have to work at it. The great part about having been an athlete my whole life is that I know exactly how to motivate myself, how to let myself focus and most importantly, how to ask for help when I don’t exactly know how to reach my goal…. For now:
Goal: leave my frustration with the kids at the door
Song: You Lie by the Band Perry
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