I've been thinking lately...

...Shocking I know but really... Some thoughts I've had of late have been focused on how teachers, coaches, mentors, bosses and parents can influence a person's path in life. Since I've decided that I will take on this whole bullying issue with my kids, I'm trying to navigate it in a way that helps them see me as a person to look up to and not as a dictator who controls everything. What I'm realizing is, it is a careful balance between heaven and hell. Having been an athlete for most of my life (ok, well, all of it) I have had many wonderful influencers and well, a few bad apples. As I'm trying to figure out my teaching style, pedagogy (assuming I can ever say that word), and which philosophers will influence me; I find myself reflecting on my past examples. Louisa Jones of the Pomfret School is someone I often find myself turning to and hoping to model after. She was absolutely amazing, she knew how to push us, and she knew when she just needed to stand in as our Moms. She knew how to respect us and earn our respect in return. At a boarding school she is an amazing asset for those reasons and many more. She taught me how to be strong and independent without ever handing me the guide book for life. I hope to be half the teacher and coach she is... But how do you attempt to model those behaviors? How do I as a leader show my kids a good way to lead their lives? Another coach, let's go Harry Potterish and say "she who shall not be named" instead taught me how not to be a leader. It sometimes is just as simple as not saying "good job but next time let's try ____" we instead received "that sucked, it was awful" not exactly a motivating turn of phrase. So needless to say what I learned from her is how not be a leader and example setter for my kids, my (one day) team and my friends. The hard part though, lays with my bad kids. While they especially deserve the "good job but instead let's try___" I sometimes find it hard to give them that chance. I have to consciously monitor my interactions with them because of wanting to instill hope in them but knowing all the while how disappointed in them I was, and still am. I look to my parents for the answers... No, not "hey mom, how did you keep motivating us" but rather reflecting (being a true child of them) on my brothers and my own upbringing. Reflecting on my rough patches and seeing how they kept pushing me, kept letting it be ok to fail, kept helping me to stand up again on my own two feet. They somehow figured out how to be awesome parents, and role models... And ok maybe a lot of this view is because they worked out all the kinks on my older brothers (sorry T and M) and by the time I came around they knew it all..... ok but maybe not. My parents are strong people who are very secure in who they are. So through example they taught us how to be great adults and I'm pretty sure we're turning out alright... But really, when does anyone STOP growing up? In our family, the hard lessons and struggles were simply tackled and not avoided. We understood that it would not be easy but that they would be there for us, supporting us along the way. I hope that as a teacher I can take a tiny bit of that into the classroom because those are the best teachers. The ones who never seem to openly be motivating you but rather pushing you to be the best...Mostly because they know you can give them the best. Sara Wood, also of the Pomfret School, is someone I will never forget. She constantly forced me to work harder because she knew I could. Now at the time, it was really hard but I see now, how amazing that made her. She saw my potential even when I didn't. As a teacher, you cannot ask for a better quality, that is seeing a gift in children even when they don't. I'm hoping I can see some potential in all of my kids... no matter how much they drive me crazy...