Well, at least of this part of the story… LUCKILY there is still one whole semester to go before I get to become a teacher all in my own right. I’ll be honest; when I arrived at work this morning I was all over everywhere with my emotions. I knew that my one advantage is that I have worked with kids before and I have survived. The day started off feeling mildly frantic but once it got sorted, aka the kids went off to art, it was ok. We had planned to have a “holiday going away party” for the afternoon so I knew I just had to get to lunch. First mini-goal. And for the most part it was pretty smooth sailing. The kids were great and did all that we asked them to do. They started their word glossaries for their energy (NRG) expedition and for the most part had finished the words we had put up for them…. Now, if I do say so my self... Those words on the wall were definitely some of my best posters to date. I mean, my fossil fuel definition and drawing had dinos and plants UNDER GROUND being brought up… It was pretty awesome. Anyways, when lunch rolled around my feelings of readiness were re-affirmed when a comment was made about my personality. See here’s the thing, pretty much since I figured out that I wasn’t one of the “regular” or “popular” kids I’ve been forced to become comfortable in my own skin. It’s hard sometimes, and it definitely makes it so that my feelings get hurt but the truth of the matter is… I am who I am. Being who I am makes me happy. People, who cannot recognize that I will give 150% to everything no matter what, simply don’t understand me and obviously aren’t trying to understand me. Sure, sometimes I get loud, and sometimes I get really excited over little things but those are exceptionally positive things about me and I have learned to appreciate that. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I always will because I am always myself, no matter who I am with. I once had a teacher who called me “loud Emily”, an endearing nickname in its intentions but really it hurt my feelings. Why should my passion for something which is exemplified in louder speaking tones be punished? Shouldn’t my excitement be praised and acknowledged instead of squashed and destroyed? I am who I am. Nothing and no one can change that. The people in my life who love and appreciate those qualities are the ones who I hold dear because they are the ones who want to know me. I won’t say that I’m sorry for being the way that I am
But anyways, enough about me… Let’s get back to the kids. So after lunch Scott had me running around making these silly copies of an activity packet for the kids, which I thought, was because we were going to do them but in reality he needed to talk to them about me. Sneaky sneaky right? So after that sneakiness we got the “party” started. There were cupcakes, takis, pizza and many other delicious (and obviously nutritious) snacks. When all the kids had finished we then listened to Mr. A read Oh the Places You’ll Go… The book was my present from Scott and the kids. I have always loved this book for many different reasons but this time around hearing those words hit me in a different way than I imagined. Dr. Seuss does a great job of reminding you that sometimes life gets a little bit harder, and not everything will go your way. Sometimes you will be stuck in the mud and have to trudge for days… and that’s ok because someday the sun will shine again! The kids had all signed the inside of the book for me and I will always cherish that book, always.
Next we sat in a crew circle so that the kids could say something to me about me... At this point in time Scott had one of the kids give me a Kleenex box. But to be honest, I wasn’t sure I would need them. The kids were so sweet and so thoughtful, but them thanking me for helping them with math didn’t seem to hit me nearly as hard as everyone seemed to expect. My gift of teaching seemed so insignificant compared to the wonderful and amazing gifts that the kids have given me. The kids were adorable and I was quite intrigued by the different “thanks” from them. For some of the kids, its seemed as if once they thanked me for one thing the floodgates opened and they had to thank me for every interaction. For others they sat quiet, watching me; and for still others sat just looking bored. Next the kids were very excited to “finally” give me my gift. My gift was a book containing letters from all the kids. They were absolutely hilarious and have some of the funniest quotes I’ve ever read in my life. (I put a few at the end of this post) When I read them all after school they definitely had me laughing and crying… It was practically like watching your favorite Rom Com… Laughter, tears, laughter… The best combination of anything. After we finished with that we just started to play... We played a few of the kid’s favorite games and just generally enjoyed ourselves. It was great, the perfect way to end the semester. When the bell rang, it was 22 (two students were absent) wonderful hugs, and basically the part where I definitely cried. Actually realizing those were the last moments I would have with the kids hit my heart so hard. Now I had agreed to nanny later that night for some family friends and knowing that I had to leave my sadness and give those two girls all of my excitement was absolutely daunting. All I wanted to do was go home, hang out with my dad, have a beer and just go to sleep…. After all, what else do you do when 24 little parts of your heart are broken off? I know that this is a part of the job and that every year new students will steal my heart away but man… This is one heartache I was not prepared for at all.
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