Stay Away from me....

no wait... I need help.... That was a conversation I had today with a child. This boy and I have struggled to get along... To put it lightly.He is my patience tester.... In math today this boy was getting particularly annoyed with me since I was reminding him of the expectations for the meeting area. Needless to say it was frustrating, and I almost broke down. But awesomely enough, I worked through it. This child is so upset that he has to be angry and mean to everyone, even people want the best for him. I do have to say though, I can understand people who give up on things. I feel beaten down everyday after math. Unlike those other people though, I find a little thing to focus on that makes me happy. I think about it, and I just let my anger and my annoyance that is generated by this child to just melt away. My annoyance today was just mainly generated by his ping pong like desire to have me check his work and approve his math. I mean either you want my help or you don't. However, I guess my insistent, "i am a teacher in this classroom and you just have to deal with that" actually got into his head. Tomorrow is another day and I will fight again to make a difference in his life but DAMN is it hard sometimes.

Respector and RESPECT.

Yes those are two different things. The first is the story from Friday. Respector is a horse that roams the halls of Steele indicating which classrooms in the building that goes above and beyond the call of respective duty. In order to earn the Horse a class must earn 5s in all of the specials (5 points is best) throughout the week. We had been doing very well all week and we knew we were in the running for it. At the end of the day we were celebrating one kid’s birthday when suddenly over the loudspeaker it was announced. WE HAD WONNNNN It was totally nuts!!! The kids were screaming and it was utter insanity. Then the horse was delivered and literally ALL hell broke loose… Needless to say it was a fun reward to the kids.
Now the second part, Respect, is something I’m now starting to struggle with. I’m realizing now that the kids here recognize that I’m an intern. And instead of wanting to share their learning and help me they triangulate Trevor and myself… Or they lie to me. I have a huge problem with dishonesty and don’t tolerate it. My kids think they can get away with it because I’m an intern and have to go running to Trevor to fight my battles. Which isn’t the case. I can fight my own battles, and I can defend whatever I need to. It’s just tiring because I feel like the bad guy all the time… It’s like good guy- bad guy copish and I want to work around it. The other problem is the “if I walk away from Ms. Emily I don’t have to listen to her.” It’s SO FRUSTRATING. I feel like a dumbass following the kids around trying to get them to listen to me but at the same time I need them to understand whatever it is that I’m trying to tell them… UGH! Any help, I’m all ears!

Science!

So I wanted to update you guys on my attempts of being a science teacher... Now I know my brother is the science kid in the fam but I must say I've taken this chemistry project on and am doing really well!!! On Tuesday we added our mysterious (kind of) white powders to water to see how they would react. As you can see in the picture the set up was 5 cups with water and then small stirrers to add the powders. It was cool to see how the kids got so into it. It definitely renewed my love of science! Today we did the opposite! We added water droplets to the powders already on the table. In this picture you can see the kids looking at (well, their hands) the difference... It was so cool to start to see their own interests spark. I loved at the end when I asked them to share something cool that they noticed that happened and at least 8 hands shot up... 8/26 doesn't seem like a lot but it felt awesome to me. The next picture is something cool that one group discovered with cornstarch... They created a glue-like substance that held the stir stick up at a vertical... It was NUTS. The video, I was only planning on taking videos but a boy, we'll call Dave, wanted me to take a video. Now it should be noted that he first explained to me how to take a video on my phone (I mean really... kid, I'm not incompetent but still, it was a student becomes teacher moment) You can hear on the video their description of what happened. The only frustrating part came in the post lab debrief... I asked the kids to write in their notebooks two things. The first being a reflective score on a 4 point scale of how they were during the lab and second to write a comparing sentence describing the control drop and one of the 5 powders reaction to having water added. One student really protested and even got into an argument with me about having to write that and why it was important. Claiming "she had already done this and didn't have to show me what she knew." Needless to say it was annoying... but in the end... I won... duh.

Chinese New Year! And Math…

So the day started out with a writing prompt then we got to celebrate Chinese New Year! One of the girls in our class was adopted from China and she, every year, shares this 2-week celebration with her class. Her mom brought in posters for us to copy, books for us to read, dragon puppets for us to model making, and the best part, food for us to eat! All of these awesome things to bring us good luck in this, the year of the dragon! Now being a dragon in the year of the dragon, as I am, is supposedly awesomely great good luck so I’m thinking positively and thinking this will be an awesome year for me! I hope that this year brings all of you good luck as well!

We then went to recess where I proceeded to play 4-square with some of my boys from math and they LOVED IT! We had a blast and I think I’ve almost gotten the hang of this wild game… that is, assuming tomorrow they don’t change the rules on me … Which who knows, they probably will. I came back from recess feeling pumped for math, a little sweaty but overall happy. This is where things went downhill. The boy in my math class, let’s call him George, is a patience tester. I often ask god for more patience to deal with this child but I think today I lost it. He knows when he is doing something wrong and then pushes past that level. He refuses to acknowledge my authority despite my doing everything Trevor says I need to and to be totally honest I’m exhausted by him. I just continue to hope that everyday he will suddenly surprise me and be different.

Boredom

So we’re sitting here in PD learning how to get trained for Schoolnet LEAP in terms of technology. LEAP stands for Leading Effective Academic Practice and LEAP helps schools in the DPS system better schools and teachers. Each school picks a LEAP goal that all the teachers will work towards in the hopes of improving student achievement. Of course as I’m typing this the woman presenting just defined it as a “system of accountability and support that leads to increased student achievement” so turns out my memory from last week’s conversation is correct… WOOT WOOT There are two areas of focus for this support/accountability “school focus” and “personal focus” There are ratings 1-7 with 7 being “you’re so amazing holy cow” and 1 being “wow, you should work on this!!” A lot of what she’s telling us about is our PGP or professional growth plan. Well that seems easy to me: my PGP (if you will) is getting a job. Plain and simple.

…a few minutes later…

I noticed it just resumed snowing and I’d like to take a moment to appreciate this awesome state that I live in. Having lived in 2 other states and 1 other country I’m realizing how glad I am that I’ve moved home. Sure it hasn’t been the easiest adjustment and I’m continuously being assured by others (and myself) that it will get better I can’t help but be happy. I love Colorado snow. It’s awesome and makes every bone in my body jump with excitement! The other cool thing is that I now have windows to look out of and that’s even more awesome.

Today will be described in 3 parts...

I will describe today in 3 parts mainly because it feels more natural to do so. As you read you'll understand why.. I promise

Section 1: Disrespect.

Ok so I get the fact that I'm new in these kids lives but I am supposed to be an authority figure and they should respect me. This one boy in my math section... will end up prematurely aging me. I mean jeezeee I already feel 25 :-). It's funny because last semester as awful as the kids sometimes were they never treated me poorly. There have been moments where I can feel myself tense up or stress up because they are so mean to me. It's the idea that because I'm an intern I'm not really a teacher or an authority figure and that's not the case. Sure I joke about when I grow up or become an adult but to these kids I need to be. So I'm trying to be strict and rule enforcing so that they will respect me. I know I wasn't an angel growing up, but I always tried to (and still try to) treat those older and wiser then me with the respect they deserve. I'm hoping that soon they will come to realize that I am a teacher and as such need to be treated that way.

Section 2: Little moments I teach for.

I had these an awesome moments that reminds me why I love teaching. This boy, who will be called JBiebs, during writing time wanted to share his whole fiction story with me. I recognized as I showed interest he wanted to share more and open up with me more. It was such an awesome bonding moment and he spent the rest of the day trying to engage me in other things or parts of the day. Later in the day, as we were walking downstairs to go home suddenly both of my hands were being held. Confused I looked down to find two girls in my class holding my hands and smiling up at me. I smiled and felt totally loved. Despite some struggles with some kids (re:above) I live for moments like these two because it shows how (i'm going to sound cocky I know) much of an impact I make on kids.

Section 3: The value of the people in your life.

So after school during a meeting on DRA (reading assessment) training Emily came in (being awesome she’s already well versed in DRAs) and looked totally frazzled. She told us about how her car had broken down and she needed a ride/help. I jumped up to help her since Em is my closest friend in the program given that we spent all semester across the hall together and working on basically everything together. We were (as I’m sure you remember) the tow 5th grade interns at Tollgate, co-leaders on our school trip to Buena Vista, and just generally together all the time. She said her car had run out of oil and just needed a ride to put oil in her car. So we drove in my car over to her car and began to put the oil in. Knowing how fickle cars are I told her I would just follow her for a little bit to ensure it was running well. Emily started up her car and literally seconds later both of our minds were blown. All the oil we had just worked on putting in her car came pouring out, like the faucet running full blast pouring out. It was hands down one of the wildest things I’ve ever seen. So needless to say, we both were baffled and scrambling to come up with plan B. While we attempted to work through this (calling my dad, her mom, AAA, chevy medved… ya know the usual people) I had this thought of, this is a crazy fun adventure. Sure it was scary but we made it work and as it turns out, Emily's car is only mildly damaged!! It will be saved after all! I loved this insane adventure and it made me realize how important it is to spend energy on the people you love, trust and want to spend time with. At times life may seem incredibly long and difficult but it is my belief that when you surround yourself with people who make all the moments, good and bad, go by quickly, life is fast and perfect. Those people make the days speed by and the seasons change so remember to take a few minutes and enjoy those people.... no matter the circumstance.

Regular day...

I suppose today is what you call a normal day in my new hood. No major dramas, no bloody noses, nothing totally outrageous... The only funny part of the day was when our principal realized that Emily and myself have the same name and would need to define the difference between us. The cool part of the day was the fact that we had a parent who apparently comes in every week to help with math. It's nice to have an extra body in the room and shows how important it is to bring parents into the classroom in any capacity. The only thing that is kind of hard is that I left school at 5... So I guess that hour I got back from my commute, is now being put into work. And that's totally fine, it's just different. I'm pretty sure this next week is a total re-adjustment in my life. I'm loving the kids so much, they're totally adorable... Anyways, off to bed... night night :-)

Friday Funday

So friday was really fun... Trevor has brought this idea of "express yourself" into the classroom where on fridays the kids get to be creative, not just in the arts, but in the classroom. I really love this idea and definitely plan to implement it in my own classroom when the time comes. Our EY (express yourself) this week was to make comics what happened in the classroom while the 5th graders and Mr. T (or Trevor) were gone. They were absolutely HILARIOUS.... I mean, literally every different kind of story you could think of the kids wrote... I LOVED them! I can't wait to start thinking of fun EY activities!!! As the day progressed I tried really hard to be myself with the kids so that we could get used to each other. I know that I'm going to do things differently than Mara and that will be hard for the kids to adjust to but I'm hoping that they accept my differences with open arms as I will accept their differences. The one that is a glaring difference is the fact that I will often say "my friends" when trying to get their attention and they are totally not used to that... So we'll see how that goes...

Farts, hot sub, beer at seminar and songs about poop!!

If I didn't get your attention yet...well, then I failed you!!! So first thing first... I have a hot sub... Trevor is gone with the 5th graders so I got to spend my days with the 3rd and 4th graders. It was totally awesome while absolutely nerve-racking at the same time... I mean I barely know these kids... How will we survive together?? Knowing it was a half day with the kids I tried to be really pumped up for it, but honestly I was a little scared. The day started out great, the 3rd and 4th graders were fun and totally supportive of my nerves. Now we were going around sharing when suddenly... a loud noise happened across the circle and all the kids made a funny face. Body humor will do that to little kids... I mean, sure, body humor is funny and wonderful but its also a part of life and I have little to no tolerance for it. I mean hello, my favorite book is "Everyone poops" so I was trying to get the kids to get over the fart... until I realized that the smell was coming closer and closer to me... Every kid who smelled that particular fart made an AWFUL face and looked genuinely in pain and when the smell finally reached me I realized why. It was the worst smell everrrrrr and I obviously was trying to not laugh and react too but man oh man. It was hilarious, and I worked very hard to bring the kids back to focus without showing my own reaction. The next thing I should really mention was the fact that Trevor's sub, Arthur, who was hot. Yes, I said it, I had a hot sub. It was great. So I left for seminar not 100% faithful in Arthur since it was in fact, his first day subbing, but pretty excited about having a good day with the kids. I mean, really only a few minor bumps, no crazy stories. At seminar we had to give our presentations on our storyboards on play. One group went above and beyond the call of duty and made beer... I wasn't in their presentation group so I don't understand how it exactly mixed in but man, it was a nice little change in our regular seminar routine. However, that little cup of beer somehow led to songs about poop in our final seminar, which was about using music in the classroom. Now, as most of you know, (or at least I hope you know) that I love music and will take any excuse to sing or perform or whatever so I loved this one. We were broken down into smaller groups to write songs and one group wrote a song about constipation to the tune of "Joy to the World"... It was hands down the most AWESOME thing I've encountered and I will now post it for you to enjoy:


My stomach hurts
I have to poop
It's stuck inside my butt
I strained and strained and strained
I almost popped a vein
I pushed witha ll my might
It put up quite a fight
Next time I'll take some laxatives....


Joy to the World
I took a poop
It came out big and bright
It almost filled the bowl
I flushed it down the hole
It swirled and swirled and swirled
It kind of rocked my world
How did I get filled with so much crap

New Leaf... New School... New Kids

Dear Mara,

The kids of 202 miss you dearly! However, I think that they and I will get along just wonderfully!

Well needless to say this semester will be very different from last semester... for many reasons. The first being the obvious: it is physically in a different place! I have literally a 5 minute commute! I cannot wait to start riding my bike!! The next being, yesterday morning the PTA supplied breakfast for us teachers and it was AMAZINGGGGG! It was a huge spread and deliciousness that my inner fat kid obviously loved. It was a very pleasant surprise! The next thing that is totally different is... well, I'm working in hogwarts! Steele is this cool mix of staircases, twists and turns and unexpected surprises all over and I will have fun figuring it all out. This morning when I woke up, I was full a strange mix of emotions. I was nervous, excited, ambivalent, confused, scared... well you get the idea. It was funny knowing that despite feeling like I was pretty solidly getting a grasp on life, I'm starting over again. There are 29 kids whose names I need to learn, a new mentor whose rhythms I need to learn and more importantly, a new community I need to create for myself. I am confident I will be able to do all of those things, but I can't lie... I miss my tollgate babies. They were in the back of my mind all day and I know they will always be in my heart as my first non-preschool class. The next thing that struck me as hugely different was when we passed "it" (it is a GIRL frog that the kids pass in order to speak) around to share exciting things that happened during break... The responses were " I got a nintendo Ds", "I got a nintendo DS 3D", " I got an iPad"... you get the idea. It was just so different from last semester where I was constantly reminded to thank my lucky stars for everything. It's not bad, it's just different. I am confident that I will come to love these kids just as much as I did the other, its just the hard part of this job. Kids stealing your hearts and then leaving your life, its just the way it goes. I’m just maybe not quite ready for that… at all. I’m really excited for this crazy adventure… Trevor is super cool and I’m really looking forward to working with him… As crazy as it is… IS IT TOMORROW YET???? I’m ready to get into the swing of things! To get to know the kids better and to just begin this fun adventure! I’m ready I’m ready I’m ready!

The long awaited end...

Well, at least of this part of the story… LUCKILY there is still one whole semester to go before I get to become a teacher all in my own right. I’ll be honest; when I arrived at work this morning I was all over everywhere with my emotions. I knew that my one advantage is that I have worked with kids before and I have survived. The day started off feeling mildly frantic but once it got sorted, aka the kids went off to art, it was ok. We had planned to have a “holiday going away party” for the afternoon so I knew I just had to get to lunch. First mini-goal. And for the most part it was pretty smooth sailing. The kids were great and did all that we asked them to do. They started their word glossaries for their energy (NRG) expedition and for the most part had finished the words we had put up for them…. Now, if I do say so my self... Those words on the wall were definitely some of my best posters to date. I mean, my fossil fuel definition and drawing had dinos and plants UNDER GROUND being brought up… It was pretty awesome. Anyways, when lunch rolled around my feelings of readiness were re-affirmed when a comment was made about my personality. See here’s the thing, pretty much since I figured out that I wasn’t one of the “regular” or “popular” kids I’ve been forced to become comfortable in my own skin. It’s hard sometimes, and it definitely makes it so that my feelings get hurt but the truth of the matter is… I am who I am. Being who I am makes me happy. People, who cannot recognize that I will give 150% to everything no matter what, simply don’t understand me and obviously aren’t trying to understand me. Sure, sometimes I get loud, and sometimes I get really excited over little things but those are exceptionally positive things about me and I have learned to appreciate that. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I always will because I am always myself, no matter who I am with. I once had a teacher who called me “loud Emily”, an endearing nickname in its intentions but really it hurt my feelings. Why should my passion for something which is exemplified in louder speaking tones be punished? Shouldn’t my excitement be praised and acknowledged instead of squashed and destroyed? I am who I am. Nothing and no one can change that. The people in my life who love and appreciate those qualities are the ones who I hold dear because they are the ones who want to know me. I won’t say that I’m sorry for being the way that I am

But anyways, enough about me… Let’s get back to the kids. So after lunch Scott had me running around making these silly copies of an activity packet for the kids, which I thought, was because we were going to do them but in reality he needed to talk to them about me. Sneaky sneaky right? So after that sneakiness we got the “party” started. There were cupcakes, takis, pizza and many other delicious (and obviously nutritious) snacks. When all the kids had finished we then listened to Mr. A read Oh the Places You’ll Go… The book was my present from Scott and the kids. I have always loved this book for many different reasons but this time around hearing those words hit me in a different way than I imagined. Dr. Seuss does a great job of reminding you that sometimes life gets a little bit harder, and not everything will go your way. Sometimes you will be stuck in the mud and have to trudge for days… and that’s ok because someday the sun will shine again! The kids had all signed the inside of the book for me and I will always cherish that book, always.
Next we sat in a crew circle so that the kids could say something to me about me... At this point in time Scott had one of the kids give me a Kleenex box. But to be honest, I wasn’t sure I would need them. The kids were so sweet and so thoughtful, but them thanking me for helping them with math didn’t seem to hit me nearly as hard as everyone seemed to expect. My gift of teaching seemed so insignificant compared to the wonderful and amazing gifts that the kids have given me. The kids were adorable and I was quite intrigued by the different “thanks” from them. For some of the kids, its seemed as if once they thanked me for one thing the floodgates opened and they had to thank me for every interaction. For others they sat quiet, watching me; and for still others sat just looking bored. Next the kids were very excited to “finally” give me my gift. My gift was a book containing letters from all the kids. They were absolutely hilarious and have some of the funniest quotes I’ve ever read in my life. (I put a few at the end of this post) When I read them all after school they definitely had me laughing and crying… It was practically like watching your favorite Rom Com… Laughter, tears, laughter… The best combination of anything. After we finished with that we just started to play... We played a few of the kid’s favorite games and just generally enjoyed ourselves. It was great, the perfect way to end the semester. When the bell rang, it was 22 (two students were absent) wonderful hugs, and basically the part where I definitely cried. Actually realizing those were the last moments I would have with the kids hit my heart so hard. Now I had agreed to nanny later that night for some family friends and knowing that I had to leave my sadness and give those two girls all of my excitement was absolutely daunting. All I wanted to do was go home, hang out with my dad, have a beer and just go to sleep…. After all, what else do you do when 24 little parts of your heart are broken off? I know that this is a part of the job and that every year new students will steal my heart away but man… This is one heartache I was not prepared for at all.