Back in the grind…

So today I headed back into the grind of regular life. It was actually kind of nice to come back and be a part of school again. Aside from a little virus blip on Scott’s computer it was actually a pretty nice day too. The kids were relatively sane… but then again we were also missing three so that could have been another compounding factor as to why today seemed so calm. Today what I tried to be more mindful of was something that came out of my last observation and that is to be more transparent in my thinking. Deciding I would be more mindful of it, led me to try something new…And the crazy thing is, I think it might actually have worked. During independent reading time four boys self selected to be sitting on the couch; seeing that I said, “ I’m going to share my thoughts with you about your seating arrangement. It doesn’t seem to be the best idea and I would maybe try to come up with another one.” Then I resumed working while (obviously) still watching them. Low and behold, IT WORKED. One of the boys left the couch and sat on the floor… So feeling good, I tried it with a group of girls who were sitting in a line against the wall all near each other. “Girls, I’m going to tell you that I don’t think that is our best idea for independent reading. I would maybe think of a different one” Slightly different wording but same idea… ANDDDDD….. it didn’t quite work as well. They all stayed sitting next to each other but aside from a few giggles seemed to actually be reading. The kids are now over in Emily’s room watching a movie so I doubt I will get another chance to try this new way of teaching today but I will continue to try to think about it and implement it in the coming days….

The worst part of growing up...

Might actually be growing up. As evident by my last couple of posts this week off has lead me to be very introspective and reflective on my own life.... I'm a BP convert can you tell? The thing I'm struggling with right now is the fact that no one ever tells you how hard growing up actually is. No one every says "oh making grown up decisions is so easy" or "being a grown up is so natural".... mainly because it would be straight up lying. Being a grown up is hard, with bills and rent and work, I can't help but wonder does it ever get easier? We head back to school tomorrow and I'm actually feeling nervous. It feels like so long ago that we were at school and in the working rhythm. Somehow in the last week and 3 days I've lost my rhythm too. I can't help but feel like I've forgotten how to be the grown up I was. However tiny that grown up-ness was, it seems to have diminished. I'm wondering if I start clapping like Peter Pan if my Tinkerbell light will start to glow again. My lunch is made for tomorrow but my lunchbox is at my parents house: fail 1. My coffee pot is on and the timer is set for tomorrow morning but my coffee mug is at my parents house: fail two. Homework isn't graded for the kids: fail three.... Needless to say I'm not sure I'm ready to go back to work. Should be an interesting week I suppose.... Check in tomorrow to see how I survive.....But on the other hand, my paper is coming along swimmingly and I'm feeling pretty ok with where I am considering it's due on thursday... Growing up is an everyday experience I suppose and I'm surviving....

Expectations

With this nice break that I've been enjoying this week, I've been thinking a lot about expectations. They play a part in all aspects of our lives no matter what. The only difference is now I'm realizing how important it is to set the expectations at the very beginning. With our students it is important to set the expectations as early as you can so that they know how they should be responding. From the first day of class to every different lesson our kids should be aware of the expectations. I know that when I am actually in charge of my own classroom it will be so difficult to actually implement it but I'm learning more and more from the awesome people of the stanley TPP that expectations are what it is allllllllll about...


ps. yay fall break

Day before the storm...

So today is the last day before fall break and it honestly felt that way for sure. The kids were all so in their own little worlds and anxious. It definitely didn’t help that it was pajama day for spirit week either… It was just a transitional day and the kids could feel it. We started the day off heading down to our kindergarten buddies room to make “thank you” cards for all of the people who help us out in the school. It was honestly like a craft-glitter bomb went off in that room at about 8:20am. The kindergarteners didn’t really understand what they were doing and the 5th graders were learning about classroom management. When we started actually giving the cards to the people they were made for, it was really sweet. The kids were so proud of their work and loved the positive attention they received. From there we transitioned into expedition in the fainted attempt to finish our letters. It honestly was SO painful. Having not really drilled into our kids the importance of the writing process they really struggled with being forced into using it. So basically I learned (thanks in part to seminar yesterday too) it is essential to start the school year emphasizing the revision/editing stage so that when the expectation is to use the conventions of writing in the correct way the kids know what to do. It was so hard having to go over the importance of using periods in the correct way or capitalizing the first word in a sentence. Or Scott’s biggest pet peeve of indenting at the beginning of the letter. And now, reflecting on the whole day, I guess it was kind of unfair of us to be so annoyed (granted the kids also were so unmotivated and unwilling to work hard) with them since they didn’t know the expectations. Last lesson of the first quarter is to set expectations early so that everyone is on the same page. Just seems easiest. YAY FALL BREAKKKKKKKK

Check back in a week when I resume real life… until then, sleeping in, reading and catching up on all my favorite TVs shows….oh and writing a few papers will be stuck in there I suppose ☺

Seminar

So we're here in seminar and we're supposed to be conferring with ourselves about the writing we did earlier. Our writing was based off of a short story "Shaving". The idea is to write about an act you have done your whole life. But really, how on earth am I old enough to decide that there is one thing that I've done my whole life... seriously. I'm 23 years old; how is that old enough to have a life pattern? Well it's not... Except that one thing... Singing. It's the thing I do no matter how I'm feeling, no matter what is going on, no matter how lost I feel it brings me back. Which is exactly where I am, I'm about to jump off the deep again by heading off to Philly which scares the living bejesus out of me... and with the loss of Muzz, I'm worried about Mema, and my own future. Alzheimer's is a real future for my family and I'm beginning to realize that even with my 23 years, that research is on my side as long as I can get going quickly. So when the feelings are this I come back to one song. One song that just makes everything go away, the one song that makes my emotions still for just 30 seconds. Damn the Dixie Chicks for breaking up because this song is the shit and I hate not having more to grow off of. It just fills me up with happiness and brings me back to ground zero. Back to home base, back to neutral. Writing about singing just made me need to go outside and let it out. Being stuck in this room is like being a bull before a rodeo. All I need to do is run out that door and let it out, the bubbling song that I literally don't feel control over.

I was I was smarter,
I wish I was stronger
I wish I loved Jesus,
The way my wife does.
I wish it had been easier,
instead of any longer.
I wish I could have stood where you would have been proud
That won't happen now,
That won't happen now.
There's a whole lot of singing that's never gonna be heard,
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word
Somehow.
Think I broke the wings off that little song bird,
Take her for a ride to the top of the world
right now.
Top of the world.

I don't have to answer,
Any of these questions.
Don't have no God to,
Teach me no lessons.
I come home in the evening,
Sit in my chair
One night they called me for supper
But I never got up
I stayed right there,
in my chair.
There's a whole lot of singing that's never gonna be heard,
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word
Somehow.
Think I broke the wings off that little song bird,
Take her for a ride to the top of the world
right now.


I wished I'd known you.
Wished I'd shown you.
All of the things I, was on the inside.
I pretend to be sleeping,
When you come in in the morning
To whisper good bye,
go to work in the rain
I don't know why,
Don't know why.
There's a whole lot of singing that's never gonna be heard,
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word
Somehow.
Think I broke the wings off that little song bird,
Take her for a ride to the top of the world
right now.
Top of the world.

To the top of the world,

I heart our expedition!

So today I really just got into our expedition lesson.... Despite the mild to annoying disruptions from the unfocused kids, most of the class was able to completely jump into the expedition writing and creating. In terms of Bloom's taxonomy my kids would have been at the top since they were using their background knowledge to create a story/ character and write a letter to someone. That sounds super disorganized but basically they created a character who would have lived during the pre-revolutionary time period and would have been involved in one of the major political events (i.e. Boston Tea Party, Boston Massacre etc etc). It was awesome to see them coming up with names and back stories and really looking at the political event. Granted we are still struggling with the concept of if you are a member of parliament you are NEITHER a patriot nor a loyalist you are simply a British parliament member who does what Parliament does. A patriot or a loyalist had to be a COLONIST above anything else. Also, if you are a group of people living in the colonies are you a colonist? or a group of colonists? tricky tricky tricky....Adding to that, what does the word whom mean and how I can interpret the question "to whom is your character writing the letter?"..... But despite all of these little things I have to say this was one of the best lessons I got to teach. I created the model and worked through the writing process with my kids (and will continue to...) and it was SO much fun. Mostly because this is my (grape) jam. I LOVE creating things like this, getting to delve straight into historical time periods and forget the here and now... I mean, hello, HOW many books/movies do I own about the Elizabethan time period? yeah I thought so...Stay tuned as my draft continues and I'll be sure to pull some awesome quotes from the kids.... So the quiz is... can you figure out my character with just the beginning of the letter??


My dearest sons,
I can only hope that you were not a part of that ridiculous attack on trade ships. Learning of this wretched attack not only worried your poor mother but also made me regret allowing you to move to such a volatile place. I need you to understand the danger you are in. Return home. These reactions to our thoughtful laws are simply irresponsible and uncalled for. Do you not understand that the government is acting with the best interest of the colonists?

Back in the swing of things....

So this morning rolled around indicating that the field trip was really over. That thing we had been planning and looking forward to was over. I must say I was a little sad just because it had been our thing for so long. But this week I have another goal to reach... The weekend and fall break! All of those people who complain about how much time teachers get off should spend some time in a classroom because then they will understand exactly why. We fell comfortably back into our schedule and routine with little to no bumps. Really the only bump of the day was being told that I couldn't watch my child for my child study in music. But again, this is life and so I will just have to react and write my paper in a different way. OH WELL.

I've been thinking lately about teachers and their philosophies and ideologies. Can a teacher ever have a fixed one of those? Is that being a good teacher or is that closer to being Cameron Diaz in "Bad Teacher?" Shouldn't we always be changing with education to be the best that we can be? Isn't it our responsibility as educators and leaders for our children to be as up to date on life and the world? Just a thought I had.....

A few photos!!

Field Trip Heaven

So last week we went on a 3 day overnight field trip to Buena Vista at the 100 Elk Ranch. The road to that beautiful camp was a bit crazy at first with trying to get all the kids onto the bus and all of their stuff onto the bus as well. We made the 3 (and change) hour drive with only one stop which amazed me. We were riding 2 regular school buses without bathrooms (never thought I'd say I miss our field hockey buses but man, it made me miss them) so our one potty break was unbelievable to me. The funniest part was that Emily, my co-5th grade intern had to teach some of the girls how to squat in the woods to go... potty. This, while funny imagining it, also surprised me (like many of the things my kids do). I honestly can't say when I "learned" to squat in the woods but it is something I definitely knew before 5th grade. It is just another thing that made me grateful for my upbringing. My parents did a wonderful job exposing me to as many things as they good so that when I grew up (still waiting to of course) I could have many memories to fall back on. When we arrived at the camp we quickly moved into our cabins (Em and I were together for that and our "day groups") and had lunch out on the lawn. Sitting in the sun surrounded by the kids and my co-teachers, I closed my eyes and said a quick prayer. I was just so happy to be there and share this amazing experience with my kids that I wanted it to be perfect. I love the mountains, and I feel at home there, something about being away from the city just makes my soul feel better. Knowing my kids could maybe form the same kind of relationship just.... well, it made me feel happy and kind of proud. We headed off to the high ropes course after lunch and literally launched the kids into the trees. Having done a high ropes course before (and... well not necessarily enjoyed it) I was amazed at how fearless my kids were. They all took such amazing risks and didn't let their inexperience keep them grounded. The other awesome thing was how well they supported each other. It solidified my belief in the concept of "crew". Crew is something that EL learning is based on and it's kind of like a more advanced homeroom. We play initiatives that bring the group together and create a trusting community within the classroom walls. Crew translates outside the classroom as was demonstrated at this activity. Many of my kids struggled with the "leap of faith" aka climb a tree stand on a tiny platform and just jump into the air.... yeah, sounds like a blast right? Well needless to say my kids were so brave and capable, I was just proud. For the ones who struggled they had a big group of their friends to fall back on. We had a great large "family" style dinner with all of the staff mixed with the kids. The thing I absolutely loved about this trip was that I got to know so many different kids that I didn't know before. I feel so much more integrated into the kids lives, I can't wait to get to know them even more. After dinner we split into two groups and our group headed down to the other lodge to play "Gaga". Now I was hoping it was some game focused around the Lady herself however I was woefully wrong and thankfully so. "Gaga" is this awesome game with a volleyball, an inclosed rink, and rules like reverse soccer. The kids loved it, we, the staff, loved it and it was an awesome 2 hours. We then headed off to bed and... well... the bed was too small for me. Knowing I'm tall never made me think I wouldn't fit into a bed. I mean there are plenty of people who are taller than me, how on earth did they go to this camp? I was honestly in a bed made for a tiny person like a 5th grader not a 23 year old. So it was a longgggg night for big old me. The next day I woke up so excited for everything we would do that. After breakfast we headed off on a hike up the ridge to see what we could find! What we found (among other things) a horse graveyard. The kids literally lost their minds with collecting bones and touching bones and touching the still semi-fresh-ish leg.... We then started to "quietly" chase a deer through the woods to see what it would do. The funniest part was when the deer pooped and we went to check it out. Obviously the kids got all into the body humor.... It was so calming to just be walking around the hills and breathing the fresh air. I was happy and at peace... This separation from school and work and crazy life, made me feel so much less stressed. I really wished I hadn't left. It was so great up there. Later Thursday afternoon was kind of discombobulated to say the least. One of the kids got sick so Emily and I had to split the time watching her and being with our group. This was my least favorite part just because I didn't want to be inside and miss the fun the kids were having. But thus is the life of an intern. Anyways, after yet another yummy dinner our group was treated to a fun campfire. It was full of song and dance allowing the kids to shake it all out and have fun. I obviously loved it since camp was such a highlight of my childhood. Going to bed that night was much harder for me knowing how poorly I had slept the night before and also knowing we had to get up earlier on friday. When the morning bell rang Friday I knew we had a bit of a struggle in front of us. Task 1: Get the girls to pack ALL of their stuff. Task 2: Get the girls to put all of their stuff outside and later to the bus. Task 3: Clean the cabin. Task 4: Clean the bathroom so the "chrome" shines... Task 5: all of the above BEFORE 7:15 am... YIKES but somehow we did it all. Em and I were super impressed with the way the girls just took to the tasks and didn't complain. After breakfast and making our sack lunches we headed down to the rock gym for our final rotation. We climbed the walls and then did an initiative that made the kids work together and collaborate for a common goal. We then rushed to catch the buses back home and barely made it to school in time.... When the dust from the 3 days finally settled I realized that my time at tollgate is half over. Or will be at the end of this week. I ignored this thought and slept wonderfully in a bed of the right size!

Life is short...

*Disclaimer, I know I've been totally neglecting the blog but I promise I will get back on the bandwagon... After all we have a 3 day overnight field trip this week you'll want to hear all about it!*

Recently my family lost someone special. My great-aunt in the words of her wonderful sister "went up". With Muzz passing I realized how important it is to create special bonds and relationships with people. That includes teachers and students. It isn't just about how you see the world but sometimes it's about how the world sees you. I have always been a supporter of not making decisions because of other people but in the overall scheme of life you want people to remember the good things. Muzz was an absolutely amazing person. She was a great "other" grandmother and I will always cherish my memories of her. Being sisters with Mema, my grandmother, I got to see a how close relationships function with strength and caring. Even into their later years with their mental struggles they continued to talk all the time and see each other as often as possible. I love that about them. Sure, sometimes it's frustrating but their connection is amazing. I think maybe to a lesser degree teachers and students are the same. We as teachers should be motivating our kids so that everyday they are dying to get into the classroom and learn. Life is all about who we can touch with our own light and who touches us with theirs.

Being the emotional, caring person that I am, I worry about my grandmother now much more than I did before. Having this connection with her soulmate of some kinds broken, I cannot even begin to imagine how different her life will be. My cousin Diana is currently living with her and is experiencing first hand how hard this loss is. Especially since poor Mema relives the loss over and over again. Diana is the perfect example of a strong person, a leader,and a wonder woman. She is holding someone else's life together. I hope that when I am a teacher I can be all of those same characteristics and keep my students motivated.

I know that I'm pushing the limits of out there but with this loss I can't help feeling like we all need to be a little nicer to each other because you never really know when the end comes. So person in my apartment building who is angry about parking. I once again apologize and if it really means that much to you I will be happy to relinquish it just to keep the peace. Sometimes its the little things and if parking is a little thing for you then so be it.

Finally, I want to share one of my all time favorite poems by Rumi with you. The reason I find it to be important is because we all sometimes need to step back and realize that life is a big picture. The tiny moments make up the big portrait and maybe it's just remembering to look at those tiny moments, loving them and putting them back into the big picture.

"Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. Where the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, Language, even the phrase "each other" doesn't make any sense."

I just can't wait to be King! (Queen)

Ok sure I stole that from the Lion King but still, it’s true. Our seminar today about Responsive Classrooms really made me realize how excited I am to get into my own classroom making my own decisions and be able to make it my own. Not that I don’t love Scott’s class because I do, but it’s not my own. Sure I got to put “girlie” colors on the walls and we “co-parent” on a lot of things but it’s not my own. That is what I discovered is the hardest part about this program. Sure, the breakdowns are hard and it’s a year of survival but really what it comes down to is solidifying yourself so that when you get into a classroom you have an idea. Only they give you an awesome idea in October and you have to hope and wait until June when you might get a classroom of your own. It’s literally torture. Max said something the other day that made me think, June is just around the corner… At the time it was to make me feel better but it is kind of true. I’m sure that this year will go by quickly and soon I will be my own teacher. It will be so wonderful because by then I will have had many, many different wonderful seminars and I will hopefully be an awesome teacher… I can only hope I will be able to remember all of these things and be able to implement them in my own classroom! When I am a benevolent dictator (quote from class today :-) )

Our Mothers Would Be Proud… *Fall Switch Day!*

So today I switched classrooms for my fall switch date with Karolena who is Lane’s intern. Lane is… family. So I was super excited to get to see her work. Lane is not the first family member/Stanley intern I have gotten to watch and I’m sure she won’t be the last… well maybe. Anyways, it was so cool to get to see this side of her considering I haven’t ever really. I literally took 3 whole pages worth of notes today, not just about Lane but also about her classroom and her interactions with the kids. It honestly never felt like I was watching someone I had grown up with. It felt more like watching a new teacher and once again trying to glean as much information as I could. Not really knowing at this point what grade I want to teach and now having pretty solid experience in pre-school and 5th grade it was nice to see the in-between stage. Since I barely remember second grade (thanks concussions ;-) ) I thoroughly enjoyed seeing where these kids were in terms of developmental stages and in terms of life stages. Things I noticed that were different were often little simple things like cutting out pictures still being difficult or sitting still and listening for more than maybe 10 minutes seemed hard but for the most part the kids were totally adorable and sweet… Much like any of the kids I have worked with so far in my “career”. The funniest part I found was actually wondering how my kids were, and how Scott was. I felt what I imagine a parent feels for the first time a kid goes off to school. I noted different times and wondered if they were transitioning into math yet or still reading or when 8:55 rolled around I wondered what they did in music class and whether or not there was a show for Lena/Scott. It was really hard not to quickly run down the hall and check on them. I guess I’ll have to maybe get used to this feeling since I still have 2 more switch days and an entire second semester at a different school. Also that whole every year getting a new class thing too… I guess that is where the mixed age classrooms are so great, the kids and teachers get to spend 3 years together so they really feel like they are a part of each other’s lives. I think I really like that. I’m finding more and more that I am definitely oriented towards the BP style of classrooms while still maintaining the structure of a traditional classroom… Wonder if I’d ever be able to marry the two together….

Things I absolutely loved about in Lane’s classroom:
→ The schedule up on the wall for the whole day and read through by the class
→ Morning stations oriented around math
→ Lane’s freeze-count to 5-melt transition
→“Fixing” their brains to change subjects → they twist near their temples and click their tongues it is SO cute and gets them to recognize a change in learning.
→ CAFÉ or Comprehension, Accuracy, Fluency and Expand Vocabulary as a concept for reading/writing
→ Saying, “voice” if someone isn’t loud enough
→ Their expedition being a great idea for the kids and that age
They are learning about plants and are currently split into groups focused around roots, stems, flowers, leaves, seeds, and fruit. Their reading is focused on that, as is their writing.
→ ELD was fun… granted still total chaos for teachers with room switching and new name learning but they seemed to enjoy it. It was also tied into their expedition so it pushed/furthered their learning/understanding.
→ When it was turn and talk time they stood up if they didn’t have a partner and then found one. So much better than trying to figure out random groups of 3.
→ That the DLI book was called the “fix it” book… SOOOO much better than the actual (lame) title of Daily Literacy Instruction

As you can see, this day wasn’t about spending time with my cousin it was about learning. I took away so many different things, from classroom structure to transitions to little attention songs and so much more. I cannot thank Lane enough for letting me watch her; she is truly a gifted teacher… Which I’m learning is pretty damn common among Stanley interns. I’m so honored to be a part of such a cool group of people; it is like being a member of a football team that wins the Super Bowl, I’m just happy to be a part of this epic group. I hope one day I’ll be as cool as they are.

Everything comes to an end…

Today was kind of sad because it was one of our girls let’s call her Irene was moving away. She was such a sweet girl, I was definitely sad to see her go. Today was a little different than normal since we didn’t go see our buddies and instead we took our final interim test. I was so glad that those are over; I hated testing the kids with those. We headed out to recess and came back to work more on our summaries. This became exceptionally frustrating because we literally spent ALL of our academic time on Friday working on these stupid summaries for the kid’s pictures of the Boston massacre. We left for lunch still not finished and hoping that it would eventually get finished…. One day. At lunch we had so much fun and I really felt loved by the team. They were so nice about my birthday and I totally love them. We came back, worked for a few minutes then headed out to Crew Day. Crew day is like regular crew or homeroom and field day had a baby… We had so much fun and the kids loved it. It really let them let loose and just be kids. Sometimes I think we forget because we are pushing them so much and pushing them to be better kids. We went back into the room and just let them finish their last summaries, and have just a little bit of free time… Which is when the penis issue came in… yes I said penis. I noticed a few boys sitting on the couch and giggling pretty intensely. Having grown up with 2 older brothers I can pick up pretty quick when something body-humor related is going on…. Needless to say, I was right. Big foot was going pee… So Scott dealt with the boys and reminded them that despite using it to go to the bathroom, the little ones need to stay back at home. ;-) The day ended with us saying nice things about Irene and reminding the kids that they are always a part of our Crew.