Rejection, Disappointment and Me... BFF?

Salt in the wound, kick you when you're down, rub some dirt in it... However you'd like to phrase the bottom of the bottom or the low low point is up to you; but I think we can all agree, it sucks. There's nothing worse then the feeling of total loss especially when it's focused on something you love. Well, this moment in time finds me in the bathroom of the Charlotte airport after receiving an email saying that my coaching position had gone to someone else. That someone else being the person who got the social studies job I had applied for earlier this year... Double ouch right? As you can imagine my low point was low. I mean I was literally crying in a bathroom stall... Not pretty at all. I think the rejection hit me first when I realized, once again, I hadn't gotten a job I wanted, and unfortunately, that is my recent norm. Just when I thought I had managed my feelings of rejection by reminding myself that I will find something better, more suited for me, I got the wind knocked out again. That's right, the disappointment came swooping in. Being totally honest, I was beyond excited to be coaching. I even have a notebook that I've been filling with ideas for practice and corner plays. This loss hurt. Hurt not just my pride but my heart. When I realized I had been reduced to this moment of pain, I did the totally natural thing to fix it. I quickly plugged my headphones into my phone and blasted Lady Gaga. While getting my groove back I realized something, rejection and disappointment are building blocks to better things. They are in fact, only temporary fixtures in my life. I will make it, I said to myself again and again over You and I. I'm saying this with as light a heart as possible considering that lately, these two concepts seem to be my new best friends. I got dumped by text message, my job went to someone else, field hockey won't be in my life full time AGAIN and did I mention I'm moving back into my parents house? These aren't exactly the makings of the "awesome" 20s years I had originally envisioned BUT there is light at the end of my tunnel. I'm alive, I'm healthy and despite what my inbox says, I'm loved. Above all, I am blessed. Sure, all these knocks down aren't great but I know that I'll survive. Not everything in life comes easily and some things require a little fight. This is my life test I think, my test of survival. It won't be easy, and I'm expecting to fight a lot but aren't all the good things in life worth fighting for? I won't be fighting alone by any means, I have a great family, solid friends and most importantly, iTunes to get me when I'm needing to drown it all out. So rejection and disappointment, I dismiss your friendship status with me. Instead I'm signed up to push forward and prove that despite many disappointments and rejections, I made it. Certainly not over night, but someday I'll look back at that bathroom stall and laugh. I'll be able to say, everything from there was up... Until then, I'll board my flight back to Denver and begin the uphill battle.

Expectations and Life

So I know it's been a while since I posted and its mainly due to the fact that right after school was over I started taking classes and things just got out of control. To update you, I did very well in both of my summer classes BUT still don't have a job. As of now, my plan is coaching a middle school field hockey team and taking classes full time. I'm looking forward to it! Coach Detmer here I come! In terms of expectations, I lately have been thinking about them a lot. Expectations are a huge part of life, and like it or not they creep into most areas of our lives from jobs, to living to family, friends and beyond. The tricky part is when those expectations don't match up quite the way you want. Lately, that has been the definition of my life. I've learned a lot of hard lessons and I've had my realities fall very short of my expectations. That's just life. I keep reminding myself of some great advice that I was given, control your controllables. There is a lot I can't control in my life right now and no matter how much I'd like to change something, there's a lot I can't. I'm ready for the next steps, wherever they lead me.